The Spanking Writers

The Guardian started it this morning, with a page titled “Eight of the best. Statement belts.” Given I was wearing a whip with a buckle (one of a couple of very kinky belts purchased from up-market retailer Mulberry, of all places), I decided I was making more of a statement than any of the belts they featured. (In fairness, there was one hideous thing that cost £150, that very successfully made the statement: “I am rich and I have no taste”, but that’s by the by).

Then a marvellous line from A.N. Wilson, writing in the Evening Standard: “Ties are a badge of servitude, no doubt.” He wrote of office workers, forced to wear them, whilst those “who have the money swan about in open-necked shirts”. I, of course, thought about school ties being a sign of submission to the scholastic authorities.

And the BBC went spanking-mad this evening. First, a drama about fraudsters. A group of posh merchant bankers played a game of forfeits with a client, that resulted in said gentleman bending over the boardroom caning to receive several cane strokes on his besuited posterior. A few days later, after the disciplinarians had presumably attended a customer care course, the client had the bankers lining up over the same table for their canings. Sadly, though, he declined the offer to cane the one female member of the team who was looking on with interest.

This was followed by a programme about celebrities’ atrocious school reports, littered with more references to strict discipline than I would have thought it possible to fit into thirty minutes.

Come to think of it, I’ve seen spanking movies featuring less corporal punishment than the BBC had in that one hour. Must be the start of spring, bringing out the short skirts and high libidos.

Haron earned a spanking, too. She’s away this weekend (as am I – but we’re at opposite ends of the country) and there’s neither email access nor a phone line in the place she’s staying. So it’s mobile phones all the way. Apart from the fact she forgot to take her phone charger. That’ll be dealt with when we’re both next at home, on Wednesday; another punishment book entry. (Given the Guardian’s title, and the fact that this belt is her least favourite of all of my implements, I’m wondering whether she needs eight of the best. But that might be a little severe for the offence!).