Congratulations to NumberSixValverde, for winning the Grand National (the UK’s premier horse race) on Saturday. The Sunday newspapers were thus able to emblazon “six of the best” across the victory photos.

Today’s Guardian, on the other hand, focused on jockey Niall Madden, nicknamed ‘Slippers’. Their headline? “Slippers goes back to work punishing the bookmakers”.

Our media is spanking-mad. Which is a good thing, if you ask me.

Reminds me that I haven’t used the slipper on Haron in a long while. I must fix that. Actually, I prefer the gym shoe – very reminiscent of school days, when the last boy to get changed back into his uniform after Physical Education lessons used to get one whack with the PE teacher’s plimsoll… (Woolworth’s sell wonderful plimsolls, very cheaply, if you need any implement-shopping suggestions).

(Haron just peered over my shoulder to see what I was composing. And frowned. Frowning at someone’s writing must be worthy of a slippering, surely?)

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