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I got paddled last night for no other reason than to try out a new implement Abel bought for us a few weeks ago.*
It’s an enormous tyre paddle.
More specifically, it’s a large piece of tyre rubber (complete with tracks) on a pretty metal handle. It looks very industrial, something out of a steampunk novel, or perhaps a post-apocalyptic movie. In fact, if Judge Dredd dispatched judicial paddlings, this would be exactly the sort of implement that would be used to deliver them.
A guy who makes these things blogs over on Burning Rubber.
Anyway, we felt like playing last night, but I was too tired to come up with a role-play, so it was going to be a good old just-because paddling with a gigantic chunk of rubber.
My impressions of this beautiful implement? It hurts like nobody’s business. With the first stroke Abel must have intended to imprint tyre tracks on my butt, because he whacked so hard I couldn’t even scream for about three seconds. He didn’t get the tracks, just some redness (as he informed me), so he decided to hit even harder. This time I screamed alright, and also danced about the room, saying nasty things about the paddle, its wielder, its maker, and the postman who’d delivered it. After this Abel lightened up – not by much – and I got the rest of my six swats with just about bearable strength.
Man… it was horrible. The burning feeling afterwards was really nice, though.
Abel spent the rest of the night being quite pensive, and in the end declaired that, perhaps, to get those tyre marks he’d have to get another of these paddles, only smaller.
Do you think this would be a good time to call a spousal veto over how our budget is spent? Or maybe I should bribe the postman?
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* Yes, weeks. What can I say? We’ve been busy.
Jen
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Haron,
Greg wants me to get one of those evil things, because there’s a leather store here that sells them! The guy who makes them lives in Michigan, so I assume it’s easy for him to distribute them to local stores. I’m going to quote you when I talk to him the next time so that he’ll know we definitely don’t need one! (Yeah right, like that’ll work!) I do like the idea of the burn lasting a long time, but it sounds impossible to get through the actual spanking to get to that point. The problem is, he knows how high my pain threshold is, and he won’t listen to a word of my protests. LOL
Haron
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:04 pm
Jen, don’t listen to me, I’m a wimp
If you’re able to take yourself through the pain (and I have a lot of confidence in you, remembering the sort of caning you take!), the afterburn is a delicious, fitting reward.
I wouldn’t recomment it to anybody who doesn’t have a high pain threshold, though.
BadAss Paddles
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:42 pm
Jen,
You should know that the implement in question was the Monster Mechanic Flogger… my very most evil of spanking toys. Haron need not feel like a wimp for thinking the Monster Mechanic gave a brutal thrashing. It’s hellish.
Now, if you’re looking for something that delivers a nice afterburn and leaves clearer track marks, I suggest the 17″ master mechanic (yup, the very model in stock at Noir). That one stings like a hornet on meth, but it’s much less frightening. In fact, it’s the most popular item I make.
Jen
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:11 am
Oy, that’s all I need to hear. I’ll start thinking of it as a challenge and want to see how much I can take! Greg’s going to be amused.LOL
Fireman Chris
May 3rd, 2006 at 4:48 am
Haron,
I just saw the website for those paddles the other day. My first thought was “Good God, why would you make a paddle out of that?!?” My second thought was “Hmmm, maybe I should get one.”
And let me just say, great site, you guys.
Haron
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:55 pm
That’s the thing, you see, folks. As soon as you come across these paddles the thinking goes: “Well, I never… What’s one of them?” – “Hey, that’s kind of cool-looking.” – “I wonder what it would feel like?” – “Where’s my wallet?”
LOL Unless you’re on the painful end of the paddle, in which case you go – quick, close the page until my top sees it!
Amber
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Sorry, Abel, looked and looked at the damn thing, and as much as my bottom is thirsting for the running streams… wait, I meant to say burning rubber sensations, this is almost as large as my entire body. Well, I am exaggerating, but anyhow. A gal told me you gotta hit like crazy to get the tracks… which her top did. I want some piece of rubber like crazy, though…
Sherryl
September 21st, 2007 at 4:02 pm
I’m a self-spanker and I wish I could have one. I’m not sure if I could do it justice but I would like to try.
Abel
September 21st, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Sadly he seems to have stopped selling them. A real shame. The big one we bought is too large to handle effectively, and I would so have loved a smaller one to really whack down!