Commenting on one of our recent posts, one of our readers observed that she was:

…going to a BBQ tomorrow evening where I’m sure to be passed around as an entree for the delights of the other spankers in attendance

“As an entrée”. What a wonderful phrase, and what a great concept. I’m just imaging ladies and gentlemen turning up for a very formal dinner party (all candles and silverware and black ties and posh dresses). They’d be handed the menu for the evening, listing the pleasures to be expected from* and with each course:

Starter
Pan fried Scottish lobster tail with aubergine gratin, black truffle and coriander bisque
Wine: Riesling Grand Cru Schoenburg, SGN, Marcel Deiss 1988
Spankee: Niki Flynn
Implement: Senior School Cane
Strokes: Six, hard, per guest

Main course
Fillet of Angus beef with braised cheeks, creamed potato, salsify, baby girolles, truffle and barolo sauce
Wine: Chateau Beychevelle 2eme cru 1990
Spankee: Adele Haze
Implement: Hand
Smacks: One minute per guest, of increasing severity

Dessert
Lime parfait with melon sorbet, honeycomb and chocolate sauce
Wine: Tokaji Aszú 6 Puttonyos, István Szepy 1999
Spankee: Bailey of Real Spankings
Implement: Mason Pearson hairbrush
Whacks: A dozen on the bare, over the knee of each guest.

Or we could choose vanilla personalities that we’d like to spank….
Starter: Helena Bonham-Carter, birch
Main course: Billie Piper, doubled-up leather belt
Dessert: Suzanne Vega, velvet flogger

…plus writer and comedian Meera Syal being slippered with the petit-fours.

Then again, we could opt for a menu of famous folks who we don’t particularly want to spank, but who might (cynically) bring traffic here from Google:
Starter: Paris Hilton caned
Main course: Olsen Twins paddled
Dessert: Keira Knightley spanked.

(OK, we lied about not wanting to spank Keira Knightley).

* Thanks to controversial British chef Gordon Ramsay for putting his menus online. Actually, they’re as pornographic as anything on this site, in their own way.

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