So, Patisserie Valerie, the small chain of upmarket London eateries, has been sold for £8m . The original and best branch neighbours Janus in Old Compton Street. It’s thus our traditional location for a traditional cup of tea after visiting a shop promoting traditional values. If you ever spy a couple in there whispering naughty comments to one another about the cutest of their fellow diners, come and say hi: it’ll probably be us.

Meanwhile Munich’s famous beer festival is underway; nearly two million pints were downed during last weekend’s opening ceremonies alone. Scenes behind the beer tents are apparently “Hogarthian” with “couples who were strangers a few hours earlier groping each other.”

What particularly caught my eye, though. in the report in The Times yesterday was the comment that young Bavarian women are “enlisted from farms to serve as waitresses”. They have to be trained to carry up to eight tankards of beer at once.

Given that the festival dates from 1810, I’m imagining ‘Hogarthian’ scenes of a different nature in the earlier days of its existence - with delectable Bavarian village girls being soundly whipped for spilling beer over clients. One complaint would lead to a warning; a second would inevitably lead to a thrashing before the waitress returned straight to work, wiping away the tears.

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