Etiquette For Girls

I’m in trouble. Not in the sense that I’m about to get a spanking, but in the sense that over the next few weeks I’m going to work very hard not to get a spanking. Because Abel has just invented a very twisted little exercise, called “Torture by Etiquette Guide”.

A few weeks ago we heard that Debrett’s, the publisher of such useful books as a guide to the British aristocracy, a book of forms of address, and – yes – a guide for etiquette and manners, had brought out a new publication called “Debrett’s Etiquette for Girls.”* It’s thoroughly modern, and includes such complex topics as how to eat sushi politely, the solution to the intricacies of staying the night at your boyfriend’s, and how to gracefully stagger home after an evening of boozing.

Usually I find old etiquette manuals very useful for story research: it’s important to know what an Edwardian schoolgirl would have been spanked for, you see. I was going to go through the new book if I had a chance, but I wasn’t particularly excited about owning it.

Except last weekend we noticed it in a shop, and my perverted husband has decided that it could be put to a better use.

Over the next few weeks – starting this coming Thursday night – he will test me on one chapter of the book. There will be ten question, with a stroke of an implement of Abel’s choice being the punishment for each wrong answer. Each chapter is about twenty pages long, I’ll have you know; that’s twenty pages more studying for a test than I’ve had to endure since finishing my first degree.

[thinks]

OMG, help-help-help!

[thinks]

OK, I feel better now.

You might wonder why I’m all worked up, given that I’m supposed to be _into_ playing school-related scenes, and being spanked, and things like that.

That I might be, but I’m really not into failing tests. I got perfect score on every test I’ve taken since about the age of 14, and I’ve certainly never had to answer for failing one. This is a matter of honour – or maybe a matter of arrogance – to come away from the tests unscathed. But there are ten chapters in the book – that’s a hundred questions, if Abel doesn’t get bored earlier. I think I’m justified in panicking here.

I’m sure you’ll hear more on this soon.

———————–
* By which they mean “young women” rather than “female children”.

22 thoughts on “Etiquette For Girls

  • 6 November, 2006 at 4:21 pm
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    I had one of those books when I was a teenager, called “For Weddings, a Funeral, and When You Can’t Flush the Loo”. This one sounds much classier and more useful – I’ll have to look it up :)

    Also?

    You might wonder why I’m all worked up, given that I’m supposed to be _into_ playing school-related scenes, and being spanked, and things like that.

    That I might be, but I’m really not into failing tests.

    EXACTLY. I am so glad that someone else understands.

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 4:23 pm
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    Swots of the world unite! LOL

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 4:28 pm
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    I wonder how much of our penchant for school scenes is because we were always top of the class? It’s like re-enacting all the good bits of school (=homework and studying and tests and rewards and punishments) without all the bad bits (=the other kids)!

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 6:18 pm
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    Lol – I still find it hard even today to weigh up whether to be a good girl or a bad girl at school :-) The instinct to try and come top tries to take over, even when that means no action! I suppose a girl must just aim for top of the class in lessons and get her fun by playing up when the teacher’s back is turned (hoping, of course, that it isn’t really!).

    Good luck on Thursday Haron, will be thinking of you being suitably stimulated to learn :-)

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 7:08 pm
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    Pandora, that makes so much sense….it’s all the structure and accomplishment and flashcards and rewards and discipline and none of the oh, say, climbing ropes.

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 7:15 pm
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    Pandora, that makes so much sense….it’s all the structure and accomplishment and flashcards and rewards and discipline and none of the oh, say, climbing ropes.

    I was a the top of the class girl too, so perhaps there really is something in Pandoras theory…. mind you, climbing ropes did some very sexy things to me *blushes*, and I know I’m not alone in this…

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 9:59 pm
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    this sounds fascinating, heron! perhaps you will find it freeing, in a way, to be rewarded (sort of) even for failing? i know that, having been a sickeningly good girl all my life, i STILL hate doing anything “wrong”… even though now i often enjoy the consequences of such wrongdoings. :) sometimes i think that submitting to being spanked allows me to free myself from the confines of always being “good,” since even when i don’t enjoy the spanking the whole dynamic is rewarding in the end.

    did that make any sense? :) in any rate, i’m really looking forward to hearing your adventures with this. i have read reviews of the book but not picked it up myself.

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  • 6 November, 2006 at 11:08 pm
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    LOL, Sarah — maybe climbing ropes would have done some sexy things to me, too, if I’d been able to get more than half an inch off the ground. *has shuddering flashback of gym teacher insisting, “But you have a climber’s build, this should be EASY.”

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  • 7 November, 2006 at 8:26 am
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    I’m in the “climbing ropes are hell” camp. I could never even cling to one for longer than about three seconds, fretting about falling off, grazing my hands and therefore failing a piano exam. I know a few people who like to include gym in their school role-play, but NOT WITH ME!, I’m telling ya’ 😉

    Persephone – Sure, you’re making perfect sense. I also prefer to be good. (In deeds at least: I enjoy a bit of word sparring, which is the main thing that gets me into trouble these days.)

    Minxette – The instinct to try to come top of the class can be fought by taking lessons you don’t know anything about. For example, I wouldn’t be too upset about flunking physics… It’s just the things I’ve actually had a chance to study that I want to get a perfect score in!

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  • 7 November, 2006 at 5:52 pm
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    I must confess that ropes never had an attraction for me at school either. My taste in that respect is entirely more recent 😉

    I’ve always found it interesting that my r/l spanko friends tend to be the “good girls”. I’m never sure whether this is because:

    (a) most spanko girls were actually good girls at school (perhaps their inherent top-of-the-class goodness contributing to the desire to experience the treatment that “bad girls” might have encountered)

    (b) I’m only usually attracted to “good girls” anyway, so would only tend to want to chat to and play with the brighter and more intelligent of the spanko community….

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  • 7 November, 2006 at 5:56 pm
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    Eh. Plenty of bright girls are badly behaved, you know, just because they are bored or not challenged at school. So I think you just like good girls :)

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  • 7 November, 2006 at 11:09 pm
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    The instinct to try to come top of the class can be fought by taking lessons you don’t know anything about.

    Haron – you do have a point here! There would be very little hope for me to comprehend a physics lesson, let alone top a class in it, so the opportunity to just divert one’s attention to mischief-making instead is that much more tempting!

    Having said that, seeing it on a timetable still manages to fill me with dread, whereas the prospect of English Lit, for example, ignites my good girl zeal!

    Life is full of dilemmas! Hope the studying is going okay (I am having enough trouble with learning certain lines for a weekend event to be very sympathetic right now!)

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  • 8 November, 2006 at 7:24 am
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    Oooooo, Minxette is studying for an event at the weekend. I wonder what might happen to her if she doesn’t study hard enough???

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  • 8 November, 2006 at 5:35 pm
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    Probably not much different to what will happen to her if she DOES study hard enough!! Lucky girl! Have fun :) x

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  • 8 November, 2006 at 8:18 pm
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    Hmmm… And when I think that once, in University, I almost considered failing on purpose just to get the spanking of my life from Jack. hehe No, it didn’t happen, but it *did* cross my mind.

    I skipped school on purpose too… But I *do* see your point. If Jack came to me with a test, I wouldn’t think about the spanking, I would just want to prove that I am the best. It’s a challenge! And I win challenges, no matter what!

    Get Abel bored! Hmmm… and if he wants to be the teacher, shouldn’t he know the book by heart before *you* do? 😉 No cheating, Abel! 😉

    Hugz,
    Kay

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  • 8 November, 2006 at 9:26 pm
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    It always annoyed me at school that teachers had all the answers in the back of the book…they never needed to know anything by heart, perhaps Abel has the teachers edition of the etiquette book?

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  • 9 November, 2006 at 7:18 am
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    Kay, Sarah – I’m enough of a gentleman not to need a reference book to understand the rules of good behaviour.

    :-)

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  • 9 November, 2006 at 5:13 pm
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    Abel – are you saying that Haron is not enough of a lady then, as you have decided that she DOES need a reference book to understand the rules of good behaviour? With tests too…!!!

    She’s always seemed to be very polite and have excellent etiquette to little old me!

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  • 9 November, 2006 at 5:20 pm
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    Sarah, I think I love you :)

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  • 9 November, 2006 at 7:26 pm
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    Aww shucks *blushes* love you too x :)

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  • 9 November, 2006 at 11:57 pm
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    I agree with Sarah! Thanks for saying it for me! 😉

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  • 10 November, 2006 at 8:50 am
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    She is a very polite, well-mannered girl, and I’m pleased to be able to help her to refine her manners 😉

    For example, her first test, last night, revealed that there were two areas of etiquette that she didn’t fully understand. The subsequent swift stroke of the cane on each hand will, I’m sure, help her to remember the points concerned in future and prevent her from committing any social faux pas.

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