I believe that for at least two hours today I was entirely, completely vanilla. I haven’t had any kinky thoughts at all. For a whole two hours, and maybe more.
That was because I was tired. When I’m tired, I can summon up only marginal interest in spanking. I suppose, a particularly juicy startle will cause a mild twitch of my mouth and a disinterested ‘Oh…’, but I wouldn’t expect any more reaction than that.
Luckily, even a short rest is enough to fix me.
The longest I’ve ever felt completely vanilla was about three months, which was a result of a bad case of flu. Even after the illness was gone, spanking was not a subject I cared to think about, never mind act on. I knew intellectually that something was missing, but I didn’t mind that it was gone: it was as though I’d taken a vanilla pill.
The interest returned very gradually, in almost the precise order that my spanking kink had developed in the first place: school and father/daughter fantasies first, then grown-up scenarios, then other, edgier themes.
Have any of you experienced anything like this? How has it felt to be in the vanilla world?
I’ve been through some long patches when I lost my spanking urge. I was so unhappy in various areas of my life that it was as though my brain couldn’t cope with that as well. I’ve come to realise that, if this happens, I haven’t fundamentally changed, and that it will return in its own good time. It’s something of a barometer of my happiness now: when I’m feeling good, I want more and more of it, like I am at one with my world. And with myself
Well, that’s interesting, because it’s the complete opposite for me!
The more unhappy I am, the more I usually want to escape into the imaginary world. When I’m really, really content, I can just as well not play very much!
Remember when Austin Powers lost his mojo?? Well, it feels a bit like that. Having spent far too long in vanilla land my happiest days have been when kinky thoughts are in abundance. Did you not realise the important social service work you are both doing?
>”Have any of you experienced anything like this?”
No, my dear, I haven’t. A gentleman realises that spanking girls is his reluctant duty, and would never want to lapse.
Good manners are all-important, after all. (Hey, isn’t it your etiquette test tomorrow?)
i definitely have peaks and valleys, but never a moment where i was like, “hey, i was vanilla for a day!” i feel as though it is always there… just sometimes i am obsessed and other times i’m mildly appreciative. there have been times that i TRULY did not want to be spanked, but if i were spanked anyway i would enjoy it in retrospect a day or so later.
Sure have. For about a year – when I was pregnant last year and for about 3 months after the delivery. Obviously, all the spanking was off limits when I was pregnant, and I had a long, painful recovery from the birth for another 2 months. Moreover, my hormons were totally off for that whole year. It was about four month after the birth that I regained my strength and with it my libido. And then something interesting happened – I’ve unleashed a whole bunch of new fantasies and shared them with my vanilla-but-willing husband. He had spanked me before all the time as a foreplay, but never as a punitive measure and never with such intensity and creativity when it came to implements, and now he does. I found it being very addictive, and I am almost unhappy if I haven’t been spanked hard the previous day. And the opposite is true – I find being spanked, especially as punishment, very uplifting, comforting, and reassuring (I know this sounds strange, but that’s a pervy girl for ya), despite the fact that I find it agonizing while it is in process. Those hormons released during spanking, they are just like drugs, you know.
Hormones and spanking needs seem to go hand in hand for me too. A prescribed elevation in testosterone levels boosted by interest in spanking immediately. I agree that the hormones (or whatever) released after a spanking do seem to be addictive. I do have difficulty revealing the whole picture to my husband (How do you say “be tougher with me” without sounding needy? – not to mention that the intellectual side of my brain says, “don’t say any more – this could really hurt”. Whilst I do feel high maintenance these days I guess there could be worse problems for a husband to have. What say you Abel? (Don’t worry about replying if this is too girly girly talk for you. We understand.)
Hi Rob – I am responding to “how do you tell your husband.” Well, it’s very tough to reveal things for me as well, it makes me very embarraced, and I know that most of the time he, being a vanilla guy, will make fun of what I suggest at first or might even be disturbed by a certain fantasy and wouldn’t want to play it out. But after a few days, he’ll get comfortable with what he thought was not so attractive at first. He is kind and loving, and untimately he’ll do whatever I ask, so I think that’s probably also true for any man who loves his wife/partner and wants to make her happy. So, the bottom line is, I would just not worry about sounding needy (what’s wrong with having needs, anyway), and go ahead and tell me him explicitly what you imagine, and if that thing is harder spanking, you can always tell him – I’d like to be spanked /handled more firmly (or whatever is it you like), but I am not sure if in practice it might prove to be too much. Can you start out lighter and gradually increase the strength of your strokes until I ask you to stop? You will probably get one stroke which is too hard and will have to draw the line there, but then at least you’ll know your limits. Chances are, you can go a ways yet in increasing the intensity. And then he’ll get the idea of what you really fully enjoy. Or, if what you long for is more psychological toughness, you can ask for that too. (Say, I enjoy when my husband gives me tasks to do, I then enjoy the chores much more as I do them, and the spankings if I didn’t complete them. Or, I have a fiery temper and I enjoy it when my husband does not allow me to throw a fit, telling me sternly to not talk to him that way. He, on the other hand, wished I would just be self-motivated with good self-control, but he got comfortable with the idea of telling me what to do by now.) So, yes, I am all for revealing it all in good time.
I feel like it’s OK require higher maintenance when you need it – that’s what love and trust is all about. I’m sure you are taking good care of him too.
I hope I did’t exhaust you all with a long post. Good luck!
Amber: Thank you for responding. It really helps to know first hand someone else’s experiences. I can see that my difficulty is talking about it with him, and then if I don’t get what I’d like to get, I get difficult, which is probably a perverted what of telling him what I want (on a subconscious level). So I’ll take your ideas on board and see if I can incorporate them. Like Haron I can put off making a phone call for days and I’ll accept being rebuked for that, because I’m cross with myself too. But I take my hat off to you agreeing to be given chores to do. You’d have to come after me with a pretty scary cane and a determined attitude before I’d co-operate. (I can just hear Abel’s mind thinking “Well that can be arranged!”)So you see I’m still “recalcitrant” as he puts it, and I guess we are still dancing the tango of what works for us. I’ve really enjoyed your comments – they always add a fresh perspective. Thanks again.