‘In My Humble Opinion’
Posted by Abel on 16 Jan 2007 at 02:55 pm | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
I just got surveyed, outside a London tube station. Three cute young ladies accosted me: did I have a minute to help with their sixth-form project? I was glad to assist with their educational development, as you might imagine.
The questions turned out to be none too demanding:
- Do you live locally? (In London? Nope, can’t afford it.)
- Are you here for business or pleasure? (Well, it was business, until you stopped me.)
- How did I get here? (What? In life? Long story. Oh - you mean this morning? Duh, the fact I’d just come up the escalator from the tube station might give you a clue.)
- Do you come here regularly? (Nice to see them practising their chat-up lines…)
- Do you believe that we are dressed smartly enough? (Bring back uniforms, I say! Ties, blazers and smart skirts all round…)
- Do you believe in corporal punishment? (Allow me to introduce myself…)
- When did you last administer a caning? (Er, at the weekend. Does the sound thrashing with a belt that I meted out in a hotel last night count?)
- How long are you staying in this area today? (How long do we need? Ten minutes for the discussion of your behaviour, five minutes each for your punishment…?)
- Would you like to pass any comments on our conduct back to our Headmaster? (The girls were most slovenly and disrespectful, and need to be dealt with severely).
Well, their survey went something like that. I may have drifted off into reverie on just a few of the points…
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pretty girls come and talk to you because you look nice and non threatening and stuff…
Well, he *is* nice and non-threatening.
Spanking is nice. Right?
I suppose only a spanko might write this, but that was adorable, a delicious middle of the night snack for a girl who is just too hot and bothered to sleep.
I get what Bessie means though.. just showes you never know what people have going on in their private lives..!
Hilarious. In one word hilarious. No other way to say it. You know what would have been really funny? If all of those questions (ok, maybe not the one about administering your last caning) would actually have been asked, and Abel would actually have given those answers. I think the poor girls would have ran away, screaming… Obviously, their kinky side needs to be developed. I’m sure Abel would take great pleasure in helping them.
Who looks like a pervert :)? I’ll betcha any money that Abel does not (although I’ve never seen Abel). Do I look like a pervert? No, that I can assure you of. You’d never even guess I have a submissive streak.
Haron - spanking is definitely nice. An axe murder Abel is not.
I certainly do NOT look like a pervert. Unless I happen to be wandering round wearing a gown and carrying a cane. In which case I might confess that I do.
Abel: Not even then! I’m sure you look authoritarian, committed, righteous, and altogether terrifying, but certainly not like a pervert. After all headmasters aren’t perverts are they? Just good, wise men dispensing discipline as required. Why, I bet it hurts them more than their student? It does pain you doesn’t it Abel? I mean, you’re not actually enjoying yourself are you….are you?
Rob - that’s one sultry description. I bet Abel looks friendly and conservative in an English way - slightly stiff upper lip, but not too much. His corporate job maybe imparts to him some of the authoritarian streak, but I bet that’s not his most descriptive feature. Ultimately, Abel seems to be a sweet and kind man.
Haron - how did I do?
I also like to think I look entirely innocent, but so nearly outed myself on Weds. The previous night J. had idly drawn a pervy coat of arms, replete with crossed canes, on my forearm. (We were bored, ok…) Anyway, the next morning I managed to oversleep so dramatically that when I finally woke up, I just hurled some clothes on and hoofed for the train without thinking. I was actually logged in and working before I clocked the tattoo of unmistakable perv-dom that I had been waving around since taking my coat off, getting coffee, saying hi to people…
Amber: I have no doubts that Abel is sweet and kind. That’s the adorable side of him. HOWEVER, when with cloak and cane, then I feel certain that he would be pretty damn terrifying - AND - I’m also pretty certain that he would take that as a compliment - which it is!!
There’s a story by I think Marquez (not sure) where a guy draws something on his married lover’s belly. The woman forgets to wash it off. The husband discovers it and stabs her to death on the spot. Since then I avoid having things drawn on me :). But I have a closet with a box overflowing with paddles and straps and such and a school uniform hanging there as well. Bloomers, garter belt, and a school uniform skirt are around too. Sometimes I think that I will get so busted one day by one of J’s relatives when they are at our house when I am not there. So it’s kind of like that.
I remembered what the guy wrote on the lover’s belly: “This pussy is mine” (excuse me, I am quoting).