Headmasters: I have seen the future
Posted by Abel on 19 Jan 2007 at 09:15 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
According to The Times this morning, a new report for the UK government by consultants PricewaterhouseCoopers suggests that “business leaders with no classroom experience” could be recruited to run schools. Reporting to them would be a teacher, looking after academic issues.
I wonder where disciplinary responsibilities would reside? “Report to the Chief Executive, young lady?” perhaps?
The article is helpfully illustrated with a picture of a cane-wielding schoolmaster. I’m starting to dream about the job advert: “Package: £100k plus car, pension and beating rights.”
Full training would be required, of course. “The essentials of corporal punishment” would doubtless form part of the induction course. I’m happy to bid to run “Advanced caning techniques” for those requiring additional advice. All I need now is a gaggle of girls to be used for the practical sessions - any volunteers?
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not me…
ouch…
Sure, I will… oh wait… gosh… I forgot, I’m an ocean away. Well drat, guess you’ll have to find a different volunteer.
You know, the frequency of your “perverting reality” tags tend to make me think you’re pervier than the average spanko… but I’m starting to think it’s not your fault at all. “The article is helpfully illustrated with a picture of a cane-wielding schoolmaster.” Clearly, the media’s to blame. *grin*
Kinkiness aside, this, Abel, is the ultimate stupidity of the government - it’s the same in US, and, often the government knows shit. I cannot even tell you how enraged I am at the public school system in US, which by the way is funded by my property taxes. I mean, look in most of the kids’ eyes while they are there - emptiness is what I see.
Agreed – the whole idea that any old pillock with a few million to spare gets to dictate the policies AND curriculum of an otherwise state-funded school is deeply objectionable.
But that aside, I’d volunteer! I *like* demonstration-y games. (Granted, my personal favourite is “long-suffering fourth-former being used by mean headmaster to practically demonstrate caning technique to new prefect/s” but hey, I’m not fussy.)
Abel: Oh dear! A number of hours have passed and you are left with no dinky-di (= legitimate/genuine) volunteers. I am so surprised that Sarah, Pandora, Minxette, not even Haron has offered their services. What to do?? It is so horribly inconvenient for me as I am currently fully occupied in similar services over here, and yet I hate to think of you without suitable candidates for this important position. If things should fall into place and you add this further dimension to your already busy schedule, I’m sure the girls will rally to the call - won’t you girls?
I would recommend Haron and Minxette for the role. I’ve heard they look very sweet together, holding hands whilst being dealt with
and also, I happen to know they were in the local hostelry last night, getting plastered and making eyes at rough men in leathers.
I would, of course, offer myself, in the interests of humanity, however in a parallell universe, I have already done so - thus my conscious is clear! Also, that means that if I offered myself in this dimension, it might break the space time continuum and then where would we be!
Sorry….Thanks for the reminder Rob! I volunteer - for the greater good of course ;)Sounds like Haron and Minxette have earned the pleasure though, rough men in leathers indeed! Tsk!
Rapunzel: Nice try! Sorry to advise that it appears from a previous post that Abel has your number.
Sarah: I just knew that your kind heart could be relied upon.
Haron and Minxette: I’m speechless. This can’t be true, which, if so, doesn’t bode well for you Rapunzel.