Being away, I missed the Doctor Who episode in which he caned an entire class of Edwardian schoolgirls. (At least, that’s what I’m hoping happened, given the photograph that Haron published).

My beloved describes a couple of the fantasies that the episode idea stimulated when we heard of it, including one in which the Doctor rescued a girl from the bench outside the Headmaster’s study.

In my mind, the scene finished differently. The girl and The Doctor go through all sorts of adventures. As the time for him to return her draws near, she starts to worry about the impending caning. The Doctor comforts her, but apologises – the Tardis rules are such that he must return her to the precise time and place from which she had been taken. The episode ends with the Doctor disappearing, and the girl knocking nervously on the Headmaster’s door.

And why stop at one girl? Perhaps there were three, queuing up in pyjamas and dressing gowns for a late-night scolding. The Doctor rescues them; time-travelling escapes follow; he returns them safe and sound. They knock on the door, walk in – and realise his error: no longer is it 2007, but an earlier age. It’s a different Headmaster who faces them, armed not with the modern threat of lines and a grounding, but flexing a cane…