“A king-sized bed with ropes, sir?”
Posted by Abel on 13 Jun 2007 at 09:40 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality, Startles
Can I really be the only person to have glanced at a poster for ‘Real Simple Travel’ magazine on a newstand in the States and marvelled at its feature on:
Kink-friendly travel.
Closer inspection revealed that I really should wear my glasses when tired, as the article was actually intended for travellers with kids. Shame, really. I was beginning to picture their review of my ideal hotel:
Maids stand demurely in Victorian uniforms, curtseying in the reception area as one arrives. Large suites each contain a four-poster bed, with an interesting array of other furniture. Staff take particularly care when matching guests to rooms, ensuring that each gentleman is allocated a suite in which the furniture is at just the right height for any lady/ladies who may accompany him to bend over.
In an unusual touch, a selection of rattan canes hangs, ready for use, over the fireplace in each bedroom, with a further collection available in the hotel’s library for more public use. The nearby forest is available to guests should birches be required; one could take a brisk stroll, or ring the concierge to ask for fresh rods to be cut and delivered.
The rooms are, of course, immaculate in every respect. This is entirely to be expected, given the neatly-typed letter handed on arrival to gentleman “requesting and requiring” them to “deal promptly and severely” with any housekeeping errors. Indeed, many guests are known to conduct a full room inspection each morning shortly after breakfast. Beware, though, that many a Sunday morning lie-in has consequentially been interrupted by the sounds of correction being administered in neighbouring rooms, despite more than adequate sound-proofing.
Meanwhile I did pick up a copy of Travel + Leisure as light reading on my flight home last week, and this offered up a genuine kinky startle - our friends in Japan appear to be heading in the right direction with their leisure facilities:
Sadly there was no explanation of how staff who provide poor service might be admonished in said establishments, but I’m sure we’re all thinking along similar lines…
-------Now you can buy a book of the best entries from "The Spanking Writers".
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“Furniture just at the right height…..”
A few years ago my husband had a four poster bed made by a craftsman in the backwoods of Pennsylvania - he actually travelled there to get all the dimensions right. When it was delivered and made up it seemed too high. “It’s too high isn’t it?” I said. “No. No. It’s perfect.” he said. Finally I know why!!
PS You have us nearly mad trying to remember the name of the musician/group whose record cover was shot at this craftsman’s property. The album cover was of an octagonal ‘outhouse’ containing 7 interconnected toilet seats with a door being the 8th side. Please help if you can and put us out of our misery!!!