Paxman, Flashman… just cane me already

The film-maker Stephen Frears has recently lashed out at the (hot) journalist Jeremy Paxman for something or other, saying:

He’s like something out of Tom Brown’s Schooldays. Not Ned East either, not Tom Brown. He’s Flashman, a beating prefect.

Do you get a feeling Frears doesn’t like (hot) Jeremy Paxman?
I’m not convinced that being something out of Tom Brown’s Schooldays is a bad thing. (As long as you’re something out of one of the screen versions, not the book itself.)

Anyway, my fantasies of being caned by (hot) Jeremy Paxman are many and varied. If he wishes to role-play Flashman, I don’t mind.

But in fact, I think that Frears is very wrong. It’s not just that Flashman isn’t a prefect, but a bully from the Fifth. It’s that Paxman is more suited for the role of the real prefect, Brooke: the guy who canes you, and you feel better for it.

Um, yes, please.

15 thoughts on “Paxman, Flashman… just cane me already

  • 1 September, 2007 at 3:42 pm
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    Haron, I’m impressed that you can even imagine Jeremy “hot” (agreed) Paxman at prefect age. He’s always been headmaster material to me.

    And talking of Paxman, have you read his book on “the English”? In one chapter he admits he doesn’t understand “the English Vice”. Clearly he is a man in need of corruption 😉

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  • 1 September, 2007 at 4:41 pm
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    Well, yes, I’d prefer him in a Headmasterial role, but if what it takes to corrupt him is to let him role-play a prefect, I’ll squint just so, and go with it

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  • 1 September, 2007 at 4:59 pm
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    I adore Hot Jeremy Paxman’s new prefix 😉 Much prefer the idea of him in Headmasterial form too though! Perhaps I’m showing my age but prefects are not really my thing: I prefer my authority to come from undisputed sources, gives it so much more, um, clout.

    Poor Hot Jeremy does know what he’s missing by eschewing his national vice! (NB: do you think that’s what those war recruitment posters *really* meant when they declared, “Your country needs YOU!”?!!)

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  • 1 September, 2007 at 6:03 pm
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    Hmmm.

    Flashman is my greatest fantasy. Sadly, my dom, although having great legs, can’t really carry off an 18 year old any more. Well, at least not one who’s struggling (ho ho).

    We need a recruting poster. Young Men! Your Country Needs You! Can you Cane Girls? Are You A Sadistic Bastard! Then We Need You!

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  • 1 September, 2007 at 6:05 pm
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    *hangs on, preparing for the stampede*

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  • 1 September, 2007 at 9:22 pm
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    I feel it to be my reluctant duty to answer my country’s call to arms…

    Not, of course, that I am sadistic. Or a b*stard. Before anyone comments.

    And I’m surprised at Rapunzel’s comment about her dom. I can quite imagine him carrying off an 18 year old if any girls that age happened to stray into his path…

    Hot Abel

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  • 3 September, 2007 at 5:21 pm
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    In which case I need to start avioding wherever Rapuzel’s dom lives…

    Oh and hot- have you seen alex pettifer? Now thats sexy.

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  • 3 September, 2007 at 8:15 pm
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    Evie

    You’re making me feel old :-) (Sorry, mature and experienced). (No, old!)

    And who on earth is Alex Pettifer? I googled the name and got some academic in Sheffield, and a swimmer. The latter wins it for me, although I guess Mrs Pettifer might find the professor sexy enough. If she closes her eyes:

    http://www.shu.ac.uk/images/hallam-people/executive-group/people/alex-pettifer.jpg

    http://www.richmondrapids.com/coaching_staff.htm
    (About half way down the page!)

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  • 3 September, 2007 at 10:48 pm
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    Lol, no Abel he plays Tom Brown in the film… Lol. Its ok, I feel old too, I’m hurteling towards 19!

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  • 3 September, 2007 at 10:52 pm
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    Alex Pettyfer? Cute… for a twelve year old. But hot? I felt rather a perve going to see Stormrider 😉

    If only he were 15 years older!

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  • 4 September, 2007 at 10:49 am
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    He’s Seventeen… thats practically legal!

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  • 6 September, 2007 at 6:37 pm
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    If we’re talking hot,Marco Pierre White does it for me at the moment.He’s so scarily stern,I’m almost quaking in my shoes just watching him!
    I find men who can cook really sexy anyway, but he is so frightening and I bet he can wield any number of mean kitchen implements!

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  • 7 September, 2007 at 3:45 am
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    Harriet

    Haron and I had this discussion the other night. I can’t believe that she doesn’t find him hot, but she doesn’t! I suspect the long hair closes her mind to discovering his genius.

    I once had the good fortune to eat in The Oak Room, his Michelin three-star restaurant, shortly before he retired (at some ridiculously young age). His cooking was absolutely sublime!

    PS and I thought everyone fancied that Alex chap from the Uni in Sheffield. But now I’m wondering what he will think if he ever googles himself and finds this debate!

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  • 7 September, 2007 at 9:23 am
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    I don’t find him physically attractive at all and I totally agree with Haron about the hair.It’s just that he’s like the Daddy of all Daddies,so authoritative and as you know that does it for me every time !

    H x

    p.s. Abel do you ever sleep? 3.45am????

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  • 8 September, 2007 at 6:57 am
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    Fortunately it was 10.45 a.m., as I’m on the other side of the planet for a week! Already had some interesting inspiration from a local radio show; I should write about it…!

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