This has nothing to do with spanking… but everything to do with the sort of language young ladies should not use. But hey, it comes from the “Times” wildlife column.

There was a time when this column was banned by The Times. Or at least, by the newspaper’s anti-filth control, which is intended to protect staff from pornography and gambling on the internet.

We couldn’t understand it. Every now and then, I would e-mail the week’s column over and it would never arrive.

At last, we found out why. The banned columns all contained the word “tits”.

The Times journalists are really screwed if they want to write columns about Essex, Scunthorpe, or the Arsenal football club…