The room service paddle
Posted by Abel on 26 Dec 2007 at 09:30 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
The “guest directory” for our ever-so-nice Malaysian resort lists essential items that the traveller might have forgotten, which can be provided simply by calling the service desk. Contact lens solution, highlighter pens, phone chargers, nail polish remover, paddles, paper clips, staplers and strollers are amongst the items listed.
OK… maybe I’ve extemporised slightly. But they should have a paddle (or cane, or tawse, or a selection) available, right?
I’m picturing the scene: the young lady who’s persisted in fooling around next to the pool, eventually soaking her father and assorted other guests with a particularly ferocious splash. He’d apologise profusely, promising that the matter would be dealt with, and would lead her straight to her bedroom. The phone call would be made; the daughter – still in her swimming costume – made to stand, disgraced, in the corner until the hotel staff knocked some minutes later.
Daddy would make her answer. The hotel employee would proffer the paddle: “I assume that this is for you?” She’d nod.
“Please could you call to for us to collect it once it’s been applied?”
From deep inside the room, her father’s voice. “Please don’t put yourselves to any further trouble. I’ll have her return it shortly to the reception desk.”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the resort, another father would have placed a similar call. “Unfortunately, sir, the paddle is currently being used by another gentleman. We expect to have it back soon, though. Perhaps if someone could wait in the lobby?”
And so it would come to pass that the first girl, tearful and freshly punished, would duly pass on the paddle to the second, tearful and about to be punished, giving her a hug as she did and wishing her well. The transaction would take place under the watchful eyes of the hotel employees.
But I wonder? Would the two lasses avert their eyes from one another when they found themselves at adjacent loungers next to the pool the following day? Or would their common bond unite them, acting as a spark to future friendship?
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I think they’d become firm friends, who would end up getting into mischief together and consequently getting punished together too, time and time again…. some girls never learn!
Yes, a 5 year reunion, then meeting there on holiday with their husbands to reminisce. What fun!
I think I will start hanging out in hotel lobbies while on business trips, to see if I can spot any implement exchanges.
Hermione
I can see a variation of the manager’s welcoming cocktail party. 7:00 PM - paddlings on the terrace followed by cocktails and hors d’œuvres. Kindly have recalcitrant guests present themselves to the bell captain by 6:45.
Ooo, Sarah, you’ve just inspired my next post. But you’ll have to wait to tomorrow, ‘cos it’s Haron’s turn today!
Meanwhile I think I will start hanging out in hotel lobbies while on business trips, to see if I can spot Hermione
(Now, Hermione, what if you were sitting there watching, and saw the lass appear to pass on the paddle, and found that she was walking over to hand it to you…)
As for your idea, Mitch - the free evening cocktail reception here in our hotel is fairly lightly attended each evening. I think I might just have to pass on your suggestion to the General Manager later!