Counting Schoolgirls
Posted by Haron on 14 Jan 2008 at 10:53 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, what do you do?
Mostly, I listen to audiobooks or podcasts on my iPod, but last night it was out of battery after a train journey. I had to resort to counting sheep.
Hang on, thought I, sheep? Why? I’d rather count something pleasant, that would carry me off to an interesting dream.
At first, I thought about counting cane strokes landing on a schoolgirl’s bottom as she is bent over a trestle. Then the count got a little too high, my schoolgirl was getting too sore, and the fantasy needed adjustment.
I started simply counting schoolgirls as they walked past single-file, imagining each one in every detail. This didn’t particularly work either, because I couldn’t figure out where they were going in such great numbers, and this nagged me, and wouldn’t let me go to sleep.
Finally I got onto the perfect solution.
I had the whole school lined up around a courtyard. This was an assembly following a major riot. In the middle there was a trestle.
Each schoolgirl was going to walk to the trestle, raise her skirt, bend over and receive six stroke of the cane from a gowned housemaster. I would count them to the middle, count the stroke, and carry on to the next girl.
This worked its calming wonders: I got through about fifteen girls and their stripes before I fell asleep. I still prefer my iPod, but now I’m well prepared for any future technical difficulties.
If you wish to try out this method and report back on your success, I’m sure we will all be interested in hearing how you get on!
-------Now you can buy a book of the best entries from "The Spanking Writers".
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I am prepared to give it a go, but those sort of thoughts generally get me a bit too worked up as opposed to settled down. I’ve even been known to get up and write stuff to try to erase the thoughts. Hours later I find I sleep quite well, but I can’t recommend it as a way of returning back to sleep quickly I’m afraid.
I tend to put BBC7 on the radio - if it’s between 3 and 5 am there’ll be comedy on. It tends not to lull me to sleep, admittedly, but it makes being awake more bearable!
To go back to sleep, I too find that detailed sexual fantasies work very well (mine being a little different to yours, admittedly) - I think its thinking of anything in detail that works, but why not think of something pleasurable, eh?
The oh so odd thing is, littlenic, that unpleasant thoughts in fantasy mode, can be perversely pleasant. But the even more perversely honest truth about me is that what I do is get up and iron. Quiet as it is at about 4 - 5 am my mind wanders which is very pleasant, and eventually I go off to bed pleased that I’ve got the ironing done and ready to sleep.
Next time you can’t sleep you should fetch some ice and put it on Abel’s feet and then pretend he dreamt it… It won’t make you actually sleep, but it would be very fun
Oh, Rob, I agree with you - what’s pleasurable in my fantasies would be classed as unpleasant by the vast majority of the human race, I feel!
I shall try the ironing some time, too. Even if it doesn’t induce sleep, it still would give a feeling of accomplishment!
I have to admit I quite enjoy the odd bout od insomnia, waking in the night and indulging in delicious fanatasies which I keep in my head and return to time after time. I love that warm sleepy feeling where it’s quite possible to induce enjoyable dreams to order. At the momemt my favourites are those involving masterful disciplinarians (usually with an uncanny resemblance to a bearded Daniel Craig or perhaps Alan Rickman in headmaster role!).
Mmmmmmm think I’ll go and get into my pyjamas!
H x
Oops I meant to say “of insomnia”!Can we have an edit button Abel?
H x
p.s. and “moment”!I should really learn to proof read before I submit!
I don’t find getting to sleep is an issue… It’s getting up that sucks. Still acording to some benevolent scientist, the young-un’s need more sleep.. Like I needed an excuse.
I’m really up for Harriet’s idea of an edit button, the sheer volume of spelling mistakes that I make is stunning.
Evie: This is no doubt whatsoever that you young’un’s need more sleep. I’ve listened to several sleep experts who assure we confused parents that our children sleep in because they need the sleep. The answer seems to be to go to bed earlier. (surprise, surprise) There is a move on here in Australia to get schools to start later - a move that headmasters here have said will occur over their dead bodies.
I wonder what our particular headmaster on this site has to say about that!?
Hmm Rob’d I’d be rather interested to find out! Lol, This getting school to start later movement sounds like a really good one, I’m thinking there should be an British division…
Actually, Evie, there is: there was something on the news about a school where the 6th form comes in at 10 and goes home later. I could totally see how this would work…
Evie, think it was in Kent or somewhere. It was on BBC Breakfast.
Personally though, I’d rather go to Haron’s school. The one with riots and canes…
I am rather alarmed by Haron’s confession that she couldn’t get herself back to sleep because the relevant electronic device had dead batteries…