Red-sealed envelope
Posted by Haron on 12 Feb 2008 at 09:08 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
Coming home from a weekend away, I found a letter addressed to me by HM Revenue and Customs. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I quiver when I get these, despite my complete and transparent law-abidingness. Just that “private” stamp makes my stomach go floppity.
This particular letter said something along the lines of “Dear Haron, you’ve paid too much tax, please have some money back, you good girl you.” In fact, I’d expected to get something like it. And still, I had to sit down before reading it.
If the tax man scares me so much, you can imagine how much I sympathise with the girls who get the letters with the official red seal of the Regional Correctional Office, also known as “the whipping man”. Of course, they also know it’s coming - they look out for it since the day they’re sentenced for their petty crimes. And yet, when it’s finally here - that simple, straightforward “Report for your flogging at this hour, at that place” - they can hardly bear to open it.
The flogging is deserved, of course. Still, I sympathise. They are never easy to unseal, those official-looking letters.
-------Now you can buy a book of the best entries from "The Spanking Writers".
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I guess that’s a more grown up version of what I got- any letter bearing my school crest was *always* bad news. I used to be super good at steaming letters open- though reports always seem to have really sticky envelope glue.
I haven’t been reading your blog long enough, is this RCO actually in existence? Or is this a lovely imagination?
Evie, you’re obviously ready to be done with school and reports! May you finish in the same sort of style that your comments here and elsewhere suggest! (Even if you do sleep through English Lit).
LOL It’s only in existence if Abel provides the letter and the correctional officer, and I provide the penitent.
Otherwise, not so much.
Amen to that Indianna!