The dreaming spires
Posted by Abel on 23 Mar 2008 at 08:30 am | Tagged as: Other Stuff
The girl at the next table at lunch in Oxford on Good Friday had stepped straight from one of my stories. Clearly a good girl: chunky hand-knitted cardigan, hemp Oxfam bag, the vegetarian option (of course). Pretty, in an understated way. She smoothed out the map of the university’s colleges, discussing the afternoon’s itinerary with proud parents: I might apply there next year, or there, or there…
Her mobile bleeped; she read the text; her father reached out his hand and took the phone from her. He read the message, smiled.
But what if he’d read a different message, from her closest friend at boarding school:
My Dad got ltr from hdmstr about caning. Intercept yr post!
She’d blush, remembering ruefully back to the final night of term earlier in the week and their painful trip to the Headmaster’s study. “Girls in the Lower Sixth should, quite frankly, know better, and I intend to make an example of you. Now, which of you would like to go first?”
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Posts
Abel: Is it just my imagination or do ‘good girls’ have higher expectations placed on them and thus get spanked more?
Oh no. Their spankings are rare indeed. And they have higher expectations of themselves, meaning being spanked is even worse for them than for the bad girls.
I’m dying to know what this good girl could possibly have done to earn a caning!
Rob, I am quite certain that good girls get spanked much more often in Abel’s mind than do bad girls. My mind, too, truth be told.
I reckon good girls do get in worse trouble, cos if they do one itty-bitty thing wrong it’s like, a *huge* deal. But nobody even notices if a bad girl does it, cos they’re just so bad, like, constantly. It’s immensely unfair.
Well clearly the best idea is to be badly behaved all the time- then when you’re occasionally good people are pleasently suprised.
Can someone get Abel? Tell him it’s an emergency - Evie’s trying to lead me astray!
Evie: stop it immediately! Or else…
Smudge: resist temptation! Or else…
Indiana - I am sure that the majority of the spankings I imagine are of good girls. That just means they’re the ones I think about - I’m sure they’re just a small proportion of the overall total, but I spend less time thinking and writing about the many, many truly bad girls getting whacked!
Bad girls don’t deserve to get whacked… does that make sense?
Lol not at all Sarah- but then good girls are just bad girls who don’t get caught. And I was *so* not leading Smudge astray!
Abel: stop being so bossy! Or else…
(See? Led astray!)
Oh great! It’s as clear as mud then! LOL
Being a *very* good girl myself all I know is that if I do something at all naughty I get spanked, and I’m guessing that I feel so much worse about it than a bad girl would.
And guys like Abel *know* this!!!
Thinks anyone foolish enough to apply to oxford deserves to be spanked. Good girls are tabs
Sarah - entirely: what a wonderful summary of the situation. And Rob: we do, we do
Am I alone in thinking that Smudge and Evie both need a trip over a knee?
Chloe: given that I was rejected by Cambridge when I applied to Uni, I won’t hear a word said against Oxford. (Not that I’m bitter about it though). (Honest). (B*stards).
Abel - If there is one thing I can be sure of it’s that you are NOT alone in thinking that Smudge and Evie need a trip over a knee… or even several, just to be sure!
I was all set to apply to Oxford. I’d even paid the admission fee of 10 pounds. Then I found out I would have to spend 3 days there amongst bad, bad teenagers who were quite probably going to be drunk half of the time, for the interviews. That’s when I decided Oxford wasn’t the place for me.
I only half applied though. I’m sure that’s not a good enough reason for a spanking.
I vote for Smudge and Evie being taken out to the woods to select their own implements for their spankings. If they refuse “gross disobedience” should be added to their tally largely consisting of offenses too numerous to mention.
And when Evie, Abel and Smudge get lost in the woods, thanks to Abel’s eyesight failing in his old age, I vote that *Rob* gets to tell the police exactly what a forty-year-old man, known to be a dirty perv, was doing in the woods with two young girls to begin with.
ROFL Smudge, you make me sound like such a sicko…!
Smudge, I’m currently watching Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau but this is much funnier. Well done.
Heh, I’m sitting here giggling at Smudge’s lost in the woods ideas.I think it’s Smudge who does the leading astray. Oh and I’m with Chloe- It’s all about Cambridge (They havn’t rejected me… yet.)
Smudge, surely a pair of bright young girls like you and Evie could help Abel find his way out of the woods? You’d almost think you *wanted* to get lost in the first place. For a good long while, apparently, as you’re relying on someone in Australia as your safe call! So, sorry, dears, Rob says, arriving three days later, I must be getting too old for this trip. It only took 36 hours to get here, but the jet lag doesn’t get any easier with maturity, you know.
Is slightly concerned she appears to have added drunken posting to her drunken texting habit. Though pleased she managed to include some Oxford bashing
Drunken? Oh Chloe, I’m shocked and horrified.
Chloe, what’s a tab? Was it a typo, or should I be hanging my head in shame, feeling old and out of touch with the youth of today?
Hey, Evie, we get to be all smug now, cos Cambridge like us more than they like Abel. D’you think we can make him cry?
And *why* are me and Evie the ones being taken to the woods to get whacked when we’ve done *nothing wrong* in our *whole entire lives*, and Chloe’s running around drunk? Huh?! Not fair. Not fair at all.
Smudge - so you want Chloe to be spanked? Well, if you insist…
For Chloe (who is worse behaved than Smudge and I would ever dream of being.) I heard the following conversation between an Oxford barrister and a Cambridge one in the Cambridge union last week.
Oxford: We’re blatently better- we have a dictionary.
Cambridge: We don’t need one- we know all the words already.
Clearly Cambridge is superior. Though when I get rejected I’ll probably join Abel’s bitter way of thinking.
How come you haven’t heard from Cambridge yet, Evie?
Havn’t applied yet, I’m taking a Gap year and them applying once I have my A-level results. Did you apply Smudge?
Trust me I sooo don’t need a spanking- the hangover is painful enough!
Evie what do you want to study? The DoSs need a few livewires to keep them on their toes…
Cath a tab is a Cambridge person- I think it comes from ‘Cantab’
Yeah I did, but I was deciding between two courses and the one I want to do isn’t at Cambridge. So I’m not going. Which has really annoyed my parents, but oh well. They’ll cope.
Girls: *Nobody* would want to whack such sweet, well behaved girls as you in the woods. It was merely a suggestion that you collect something to whack you with there. The whacking should indeed take place at Cambridge where all those smug folk can see what happens to rude girls!!
I’m a having a History/Law debate, Chloe- hope the hangover clears up! Lol Smudge I totally get the parental thing, mine cheerfully packed me off to boarding school and have left me to my own devises- until I annouced I wanted to go to drama school. Rob- well that’s a Cambridge Spectecal. Can this whacking take place in The Eagle Pub? It’s awesome.
But Rob, if we’re sweet and well-behaved, why do we have to be whacked at all?
Evie: same! Not boarding school, drama school. I auditioned and everything, got into GSA and RADA, *then* realised I didn’t actually want to go, I just wanted to get in, if that makes sense. (I love how this post has just totally transformed into a discussion on university. That was completely what Abel intended it for, I’m sure…)
Smudge: OK. You got me. Sometimes I am sarcastic. So sue me.
ABEL!!! Rob is picking on me! Come and do something about her NOW!
Wonders why Evie has been wasting time in the Eagle pub, when she should presumably have been studying for her A Levels and attempting to impress admissions tutors…
…and pausing to count the number of times when Smudge has leapt to my defence when people have picked on me, before deciding whether or not to intervene to help her. Hold on…. Rob, you keep going
Abel, editor-in-chief, University Admissions Guide for Kinky Students (hey, that’s what this post is, right?)
Would like to point out the eagle is a very historic pub so could be relevant to Evie’s studies. Is also very amused that a certain history lecturer having barely survived having me as a student could now be faced with Evie…
Ah. I’m sorry. I misunderstood. I hadn’t realised that Evie merely visited the pub to admire the finer points of its architecture, leaving before a drop of intoxicating liquor had passed her lips.
My mistake. Apologies.
PS what on earth did you do to the poor lecturer, Chloe?
Lol Chloe, I’m sure this History lecturer and I would have lots of fun! I’m also wondering what you did to him!
Abel, I’m horrified that you think that I would even consider entering a pub- I was there in my role as a Catholic embasey, trying to convert those who had turned to the evils of drink. Honestly, like *I* would drink.
Evie: It’s not right to waste all that communion wine, is it? Think of the children in Africa. You’re doing a good deed.
And Abel… if you don’t stick up for me, I’ll scream. Really, *really* loud so you hear it all the way in the north.
And I’ll throw a tantrum as well. I’m really good at tantrums. I got several coursework extentions with them.
Evie: you stamp your feet and throw things while I slam doors and scream. Then we’ll switch over. Deal?
Erm the poor woman had the ‘pleasure’ of managing my studies (or lack thereof) for 3 years. Consequentially retired. We really didn’t get on-she’s been there since 1960ish and didn’t believe in students from comps. Or get me…for example ‘until you complete this essay you are banned from attending the class’ resulting in my delight ‘brilliant i don’t want to do the essay and think the class is useless’. Might have been more successful if she’d said i had to attend unless i produced said essay…Oh well!