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Checking into our London hotel, we saw this notice on the bedside table:
OK, hands up who read that line as ‘Caning for the world we live in’? ‘Cause both of use, independently, saw just that.
Actually, I think it would be a much better note to put in a hotel room.
Cane the world! Canings all ’round! Let’s start with Abel!
hermione
August 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Yes, that’s what I saw too!!!
It must be a feature of the font. We should call it Caniac Modern.
Hugs,
Hermione
Indiana
August 28th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
And the context of the picture on this fine blog had nothing to do with that misreading?! (raises hand)
Kate
August 28th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Hmpf. I didn’t read ‘caning’. But I already found a similar card in a hotel I stayed in recently, which also had the word ‘caring’ in it. Only it said something about washing towels in my case. It startled me back then! But I suppose it doesn’t work twice.
So, can I half-raise my hand?
Smudge
August 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I didn’t read ‘caning’, either. That’s not fair.
Abel
August 28th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Kate and Smudge are so innocent…
(Falls around laughing. Never thought I’d be able to write *that*!!!!)
Smudge
August 28th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Hey! I am innocent!! You’re just jealous because we can read better than you. Mind you, that’s not surprising, seeing as you don’t even know the alphabet song.
gerrard
August 28th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I’ll sign in as reading “caning”. Shame you weren’t staying at a Marriott; as someone whose ability to misread things knows no bounds, I would have seen that as Martinet.
Kate
August 28th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Of *course* I’m innocent! Didn’t you notice the halo around my head?
(Always good to lure people into a false sense of security before the attack… especially if we’re going to put loads of expensive belts on his account at that customized belt shop, right?)
(Really, Smudge? He doesn’t know the alphabet song? I mean, I’m not English and even I know the English one!)
Smudge
August 29th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Really. He doesn’t know it. The one that’s got the same tune as ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’? And goes “A B C D E F G… etc etc etc… Now I know my ABC, you can sing along with me…”? But I guess, he was at school a long time ago. The alphabet probably hadn’t been invented yet.
Abel
August 29th, 2008 at 6:48 am
I may not know the alphabet song, Smudge, but at least I know how to pronounce the letter ‘z’
Sarah
August 29th, 2008 at 7:25 am
I didn’t see ‘caning’, so I’m with the innocents, and I don’t know the alphabet song so by Smudges reasoning I’m obviously from the time before the alphabet was invented. I do know how to pronounce the letter ‘z’ though, which has got to be a good thing!
Haron
August 29th, 2008 at 7:30 am
I do believe the Alphabet Song has regional variations, because we were taught it as “X, Y, Zed“, now I know my alphabet”. See? I know the song *and* the proper pronunciation of “Z”.
How on earth did they teach you the alphabet, Abel? “Here, boy, this is the letter W! For the Whip!” [Sound of whip cracking] “And this is C for the Cane!” [Sound of cane swishing]
Harriet
August 29th, 2008 at 7:52 am
A spanking alphabet,what fun! Can anyone do the complete A-Z?
Kate
August 29th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Seriously! Abel! Sarah! How can you not know the alphabet song! Shame on you!
But I’m confused now. How DO you pronounce the ‘z’? I thought I knew but now I’m not so sure…
Abel
August 29th, 2008 at 9:31 am
A is for ass
B is for birch
C is for cane
D is for discipline
E is for education
F is for flogging
G is for girl
H is for headmaster
I is for ??
J is for judicial
K is for knee (over the!)
L is for lashes
M is for masochism
N is for naughty
O is for owwwwwwwwwwwww
P is for punishment
Q is for quirt
R is for rattan
S is for spanking
T is for tawse
U is for uniform
V is for ??
W is for whip
X is for ??
Y is for ??
Z is for ??
OK, you can see that I’ve forgotten a few. AKA I really should be working! Ideas welcome – perhaps we should come up with the definitive spanko alphabet. (LOL and you know how you sometimes see posters or tea towels illustrated with the alphabet…?)
PS Kate: zed, not zee!
Haron
August 29th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Y is for “Why is he spanking me again?”
Smudge
August 29th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Stop it! You’re going to corrupt the alphabet! If you two ruin LetterLand for me, I’m never going to forgive you.
(And it’s zee, not zed, Kate, don’t listen to Abel. He doesn’t even know the alphabet song, how can he be trusted?)
Harriet
August 29th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I is for Impertinence (never a good idea!)
V is for our delicious Vice.
X is for Xtra strokes for not staying still.
Z is for Zeal (I’m sure Abel always approaches any spanking activity with plenty of it!)
Haron
August 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Great additions, Harriet!!!
Anybody care to try and improve on our suggestions?
Kate
August 29th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
You should be able to customize the spanking alphabet! In which case the E should stand for Evil when we’re talking about Abel, and the O for old, the S for Senile… But then we’d have to make the A stand for Angry, and I’m not sure that’s a good way to start the alphabet.
Really, zed? I thought it was zee. That’s what I taught a bunch of 3 year olds in the 2 weeks that I worked at a nursery near New York anyway… Oh dear. Now I’ve even started corrupting the young and innocent without meaning to! What will become of me?
Haron
August 29th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Kate, it’s zee in American and zed in British.
Smudge
August 29th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
What will become of you, Kate? Well, Abel and Haron might give you a place in their corrupter hall of fame, I suppose… the young and innocent are their speciality
I guess A could just stand for Abel in your Abel Alphabet… and B for Bully, C for Cruel… G for Grey…
Haron, nooo! It’s zee here, too, otherwise it doesn’t rhyme!
Indiana
August 29th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
I thought “i” was for “I didn’t do it!”, the ever true, always ignored claim of good girls pretending to be naughty just so we can get spanked.
Smudge, I remember the Alphabet song back in the Mesolithic era in which people like Abel and I attended school. And I like the way you say “zee”, not too keen on spelling “gray” with an “e” though.
Highly entertaining stuff to read at the Las Vegas airport as I wait for friends to pick me up and take me to the Palace of Spanking (at least this weekend).
Eliane
August 29th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Smudge, it’s ZED!!!! Of course it’s zed over here, it’s always been zed over here, what does it need to rhyme with?!
And how about V for Villain? And G could be for Git, to go with Kate’s E for Evil
Smudge
August 29th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
With the SONG, Eliane! The alphabet song!
Abel
August 29th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I’m now getting torn between the options.
I mean, S is tough: Spanking or Stripes or School.
T: Tawse – or Tears, Tearful.
W: really Whip – or Weal, Welt?
And we could start including names of all of our friends here on the blog
But no, Smudge: Bully, Cruel and especially Grey are not valid suggestions.
Sarah
August 30th, 2008 at 7:58 am
At least if names of blog friends are included it is much more likely to be S for Spanked Smudge than Spanked Sarah…so that’s good!
Kate
August 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Oh good, Haron. I’m even more innocent than I thought I was then! The halo returns!
*Sits back and smiles nicely*
Excuse me. I now have to go and think of new ways to corrupt the young and innocent.
jo lee
September 1st, 2008 at 12:16 am
I is for innocent or injustice as in Indiana’s “I didn’t do it” although impertinence also works well.
V is for the le vice anglais
W – whip, weal and welt
X marks the spot
Y – ‘what Haron said’ plus “What are you spanking ME for?
Z is always for Zorro (with his magnificent rapier)! and then we don’t have to argue the Zed / Zee pronunciation thing. Canadians use the British versions which can cause difficulties more often than you would think!