Strange woman in a strange hotel
Posted by Haron on 17 Sep 2008 at 07:43 am | Tagged as: Startles
Abel was reading a novel long-listed for the Booker Prize, “Netherland” by Joseph O’Neill. He would read out prettily written sentences to me from time to time, but overall the book sounded mind-cripplingly boring.*
Then suddenly - in the true manner of a startle - the book rewarded us both.
The protagonist has brought a woman to his hotel room and his bed:
We were once again making love when Danielle whispered something I didn’t follow. ‘I want you to be a gentleman again,’ she whispered. ‘Will you do that for me?’
I must have signalled some agreement to this incomprehensible request, because she slipped off the bed and crouched to rummage in the clothes heaped on the floor - I wasn’t watching - and after a few seconds came back to me with refreshed spiritedness. Then she breathed into my ear the assertion, ‘Remember, I trust you,’ and produced with a little jingle the belt she’d removed from my trousers.
I took the belt, a length of black leather that was at once familiar and strange, and saw Danielle lying face down on the bed, and began to perform the act I understood her to need. Every lash was answered by a small moan. If this gave me some unusual satisfaction, I can’t remember it now. I do recall a tunneller’s anxiety as to where and when it would all end, and that my arm began to tire.
I think the lesson all we kinky girls should take home from this is, don’t try to get vanilla men to whip you on a one-night-stand - they don’t have a clue, even when they’re nice. And afterwards they won’t even remember if it was in any way pleasant.
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* I went through it just now in search of the passage I’m quoting - yep, “boring” doesn’t begin to describe it.
Now you can buy a book of the best entries from "The Spanking Writers".
What a numbingly tiresome protagonist! No wonder the book as a whole is boring
PS. Tell Abel I’ve been getting his emails, I’ve just been trying to find a time when I’m not working to sit down and reply properly! Will get back to him today or tomorrow
‘…and that my arm began to tire.’ Oh, for f*ck’s sake!
*imagines what would happen if next time I’m getting a damn good thrashing I happen to say ‘Is your arm tiring, sweetie? Are you sure you wouldn’t like to stop?’*
How can a book by an Irishman about a Dutchman playing cricket in New York be *boring*? Honestly…
Abel, I think that question might make sense were it to read
‘How can a book by an Irishman about a Dutchman playing cricket in New York NOT be boring?
Agree ladies?!
But Chloe! I lived in Ireland, I’m Dutch, I played cricket, AND I’ve been to New York! Does that make me boring? *Pouts*
Well, I admit I’m not a man and the only time I played cricket was when I was working as an aupair with a family that lived in a mansion with about 25 rooms.
And this is exactly why I vowed never to get married to a Dutch guy - they’re wimps and they don’t even enjoy whipping girls. Plus the Dutch word for ’sir’ is too lame to say to any top who takes himself even remotely seriously. So there.
Kate, I think you not being a man, and not thinking all of the above would make an exciting subject for a book, makes crucial difference.
No Kate it doesn’t make you boring at all…and think the story of an aupair who encouraged her charges to play cricket in a mansion with 25 rooms…which might lead to the unfortunate breaking of several expensive artifacts, and the consequent discussions with the master of the house might make for a very interesting book
I’m just thankful that Haron has been through the book and picked out the one interesting bit, to save the rest of us the trouble! You are providing a true public service, obviously at great personal cost!
Yay! Well I can’t say the book sounds interesting to me either. But I just had to check, you see
Luckily there’s Haron telling us about the good parts. I completely agree with Eliane!
Well, I have to say, it does sound like a stupid book. But I’d quite like to read the book about Kate smashing up a mansion…
I want to *write* a book about Kate smashing up a mansion.
Muahaha I should charge all of you for making me your muse
I’d love to smash up a mansion. How about I do it and you’re there to document it? I never liked the people who lived there anyway, hehe. But you’d have to take the blame cause I don’t want to be locked up in a cell just yet. And Haron needs loads of time to write the book anyway. 
Haron, can you work Smudge and Eliane into that book somehow? Don’t know why, but they all seem to belong together…
As for the protagonist, I’ll bet his aim left something to be desired. No, put better to be strapped by someone who knows what he’s doing.
I expect I’ll regret having written that last bit someday.
Indy (Indiana takes too long to type)