So, we’ve taken the plunge and decided to move further south – much nearer to the centre of kinkdom in the UK. (Well, actually, it’s my work that means we need to move, but the kink dimension is an added bonus!).

I phoned a leading removal company, and asked for a quote to pack up our belongings. (Hey, that could be interesting. “What’s in that case, sir?” “Oh, canes, whips and tawses. And handle that one over there with care – the birches are a little fragile.”).

They called back and gave us a reference number. It’s 06660. Do you think they already know?

The young lady on the end of the call then confirmed that they’d visit us on Monday. “4pm, and it’ll be our Mr. Sean Bean who carries out the survey.” Haron is in raptures of delight, only I suspect their Sean Bean might not be the one she fancies!