Sitting on a bus travelling into a city from the airport last week. The lass behind me comments to her boyfriend, “My friend Liz is a festival whore.”

Cue a confused look and a very long, very awkward silence, before:   “I don’t mean she goes there to work as a prostitute. Just that she loves festivals.”

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A TV advert pops up last weekend for the Neutrogena Wave Power Cleanser. It strikes me that this a high-speed vibrating device seems destined not to be used by its female owners for its intended purpose of cleaning their faces.

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I spy a notice at a railway station, coming home from a meeting:

station-sign

Surely I can’t be the only customer to giggle?

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I attend a training course earlier this week on which the tutor comments, a propos of discussing how to question customers, “What we’re really trying to here, in its simplest form, is ask, ‘Does it hurt?’”

She goes on to suggest that the next questions should reveal, “How much does it hurt?” and comments that, “This is particularly important if the relationship is new.”

Later, she decides that, “We should do some role play.” The case study contained the phrase, “What would happen if the lubricant ran out?”, set in an institution known as the CIM Academy (which might make the very rudest of you snigger).