Oh, how I enjoyed teasing Haron with thoughts of canings whilst she wandered round Oxford colleges with our visitors the other day. I waited for them to return from their tour in a bookstore’s coffee shop, and couldn’t help but observe the table to my right.

Three young American women. Students in the UK for the summer, talking about their course. Two read learned textbooks; the other slouched across her chair with a novel in her hands. And no, she explained to her friends, she wouldn’t be doing the reading they’d been set: it was the weekend!

I was in little doubt that she would be asked to stay behind at the end of their Monday morning tutorial. “Could you explain why you’re so unwilling to complete the assignments I set you?” the academic would ask.

When she could not, he’d offer her a choice – she could be sent home from the course (letters to her university, her parents…). Or he could give her a final chance – “I’d be willing to deal with you in a way that’s proved very effective for some of my undergraduates over the years, with six strokes of the cane.”

She’d be shocked, but would choose the lesser of two evils. After all, she’d think, it couldn’t hurt that much, and the alternative was too terrible to contemplate. He’d clear space amidst the towers of papers on his desk – and a few minutes later, she’d emerge a very sorry girl indeed from his study, determined to work flat out for the remainder of the course and get the very highest grades.