I’ve cut out the following passage from a Sunday magazine, but can’t remember which one it was. It does paint a yummy picture for me:

It seems inconceivable today that an 11-year-old would be put on a train and told to disembark at a town she knew only from its name on a postcard. I adjusted my hat and was putting the postcard in my blazer pocket when I heard a voice booming down the platform: ‘Are you PH?’

‘Yes, miss.’

‘Well, old thing, we do not wear our hats like that.’ In one swift movement the stocky figure straightened my offending panama. ‘And I am not “miss”. I am Miss White.’

Of course, in the fantasy where it’s me disembarking from the train, she also added: “If you forget next time, you will get a black mark. Ten black marks add up to a spanking, so it’s best if you pay attention.