I just love getting emails like this a couple of weeks back, from Lazarina:

I very much enjoy your blog, and not having one of my own, I wonder if readers would be interested to know that larger Tesco ‘extra’ stores are now selling riding crops for £5? My boyfriend and I were in the ‘outdoor sports’ section looking at rucksacks, but were quickly diverted by this kinky bargain!

Needless to say, I headed right over to our local branch, and was delighted to find that they came both in standard and “heavy duty” varieties (of which the former, being stingy, is actually the more effective):

crops-in-the-tesco-trolley

They were found in the outdoor sports department, it being a shade too early for their “Back to school” range (which presumably would be more canes and plimsolls anyway, with locally-sourced tawses in their Scottish stores). Perhaps they’re testing the market prior to the introduction of their new “Household discipline” department?

We nonchalantly left our crops in the midst of our other shopping for the check-out lady to scan, sure that she wouldn’t suspect a thing. And only then did I realise that my Tesco loyalty card is on my keyring, which just happens to be attached to a mini cat-o’-nine-tails.

Still, it could have been worse – Lazarina opted to buy hers at the ever-so-discreet self-service checkout, only to find that the display mounted high above the scanner “broadcasts one’s purchases to all and sundry in a large, easily-detectable font”!