They were setting up the Christmas market in Stuttgart last Tuesday evening as I wandered around the city centre. Craft shops of every description mingled with stalls selling beautiful Christmas decorations; highly-decorated wooden booths offered bratwurst and beer.

Right in the middle of the central square was the most ornate of the structures, around which snaked a long line of young ladies. My German is a little rusty these days, but it’s still good enough for me to have deciphered the neatly written notice – as if the body language of those in the queue, and the pained looks on the faces of those emerging weren’t enough to give it away:

Girls! Been naughty this year? Worried that Father Frost won’t visit? Come inside and have your misbehaviour dealt with! You know you’ll be on the receiving end one way or the other this festive season. Paddle or presents? The choice is yours!