After many months of frustration with the world’s slowest PC, I finally gave in last week and bought a replacement. It’s a lovely, shiny new thing with all mod cons – a processor that doesn’t freeze every hour, a DVD player that actually works, wireless connection that lasts for more than two hours without kicking me out. Office 2010 (in the beta version) rather than Office 97 (which even I have to admit was getting a bit dated). Oh, and a webcam…

It did strike me that the festive season may have seen others receiving webcams Рor indeed clever digital cameras or posh new phones. Young ladies, to be precise, who might have been tempted to experiment with the new technology by taking rather risqu̩ photos.

Picture one such poor thing, whose naughtiness would, somehow, be discovered (the voice of her as-yet-unknown-to-her-family boyfriend just a little loud on the webcam, maybe). The girl would be sent to her bedroom in disgrace, to wait. And wait and wait, contemplating her fate, until she was joined for a lecture on her conduct, followed by the inevitable unbuckling of a belt and a lesson sorely learnt.