I wonder what should happen to young ladies who don’t turn their phones off in the cinema?

I went to the cinema yesterday, and sat in an almost entirely empty auditorium, with only a few people scattered about. One of these, a young woman in my row, spent the first half an hour playing with her phone. It was, in fairness to her, on silent, but the screen glowed brightly somewhere on my right, and was a bit distracting. When the movie got interesting, she tucked it away in her pocket, but as far as I’m concerned, the offence had been committed by then.

Wouldn’t it be convenient, I thought, if the cinema staff could yank the offenders out of the auditorium for a quick spanking? You could just leave if you wanted to, but if you preferred to continue watching the film, you’d have to follow a staff member to an office somewhere. A short, effective lesson – and you can go back to your seat to enjoy the rest of your movie, if you can face sitting down for a while.

The added embarrassment of the situation is that people working in the cinema are usually just about old enough to see certificate-18 films, and getting your licks from one of these youths would be, I imagine, excruciatingly uncomfortable. An added incentive to turn off your phone, keep chattering to a minimum, and crunch pop-corn quietly.