Best trees for switches

Although in reality spanking with a switch isn’t my favourite thing – because it really hurts, you know? – it has a permanent place in my fantasy landscape. An irate Daddy grasps a sulking teenager firmly by her ear, marches her to the tool drawer and extracts his secateurs.

“Here, young lady,” he says grimly. “Go outside and cut me a switch. You know what will happen if it’s not thick enough.”

And the girl does know: first comes the whipping with a thinner switch, which will be painful despite its inadequacy, and then Daddy will go into the garden to make his own choice, and the switch he chooses will be so much worse.

Begging will do no good, so the girl reluctantly takes the secateurs and goes outside, where she walks up to…

What? Is it an apple tree? A rowan? A willow? A plum? In warmer climates, maybe a peach? I wonder what switches are most effective?

Personally, I’ve been known to be made howl with a switch cut from a weeping willow, though apple trees are also quite deadly. The willow was worse, or maybe the switch was wielded with more force?

If you have a theory on the best tree for a switch spanking, I’d gladly take notes.

28 thoughts on “Best trees for switches

  • 6 October, 2010 at 7:43 am
    Permalink

    I think the best trees are NONE at all. I hate switches. Abel made me howl and beg with a switch last year and I have more fear of it that I do of a birch!

    It is sorta hot to go out and have to pick one yourslef though, but still I think no tree is best 😉

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 7:54 am
    Permalink

    And *that*, @EmmaJane, would be the 10,000th comment here on Spanking Writers :-) Thanks for getting us to the milestone xxx

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 12:51 pm
    Permalink

    Hurray for @Emmajane! A fitting milestone.

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 12:52 pm
    Permalink

    And for switches of evillest power, pick hazel.

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 1:25 pm
    Permalink

    How does the old song go?

    “School days, school days
    Dear old golden rule days
    Readin’ and ‘ritin’ and ‘rithmetic
    Taught to the tune of the hickory stick…”

    I heard that once at an ice-skating competition and never forgot it…

    In spite of the mythical power of the switch, I have little real interest in them (even less after EJ’s milestone comment!). A friend who likes them claims hickory is the best. This friend also likes hairbrushes, though, which makes her judgment in these matter suspect if you ask me!

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 5:02 pm
    Permalink

    Hazel was what the Manx authorities used for their ‘birch’ rods, so I’m keen to experiment with it. Now, I can spot a birch tree, but keep meaning to research what hazel looks like so I can go hunting.

    As for hickory – I don’t know if we even have it in the UK, but I know it’s a US tradition for c.p. The only time I’ve heard of it over here was in hickory-smoked peanuts which one used to be able to buy in bars about 20 years back. (Ooo, now by tastebuds are going – anyone know if they’re still available? Forget spanking: food…..)

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 5:50 pm
    Permalink

    You want spanking food? How about a Walnut Whip?

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 6:33 pm
    Permalink

    I’ve never felt (or tasted) any switch, but am very curious to try. Even after reading Emma Jane’s write-up of her intense scene. Not sure if it was meant to be hot, but it was 😉 Not at the time I’m sure, though.

    And congratulations to Abel and Haron on 10,000 comments. I am proud to have tossed a few in myself.

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 8:37 pm
    Permalink

    Salix (willow) is always a good reliable switch. I have always wanted to try Curnus alba (Siberian dogwood) but have never had the opportunity. It is good, strong but flexible and looks like it could do the job well. The branches also have the benefit of being a lovely red colour.

    Prefectdt

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 8:46 pm
    Permalink

    And water willow, of course, is ferocious – as observed by Emma Jane on her blog a while back.

    I’m beginning to think we’re reaching a conclusion that just about any tree will do :-) I know want to run a “taste test”, though!

    Reply
  • 6 October, 2010 at 9:58 pm
    Permalink

    I have a question: if a switch is cut from the *Royal* Botanic Gardens, is it treason?

    Reply
  • 7 October, 2010 at 10:07 am
    Permalink

    And I know that Tops like tawses, but do switches like switches?

    Reply
  • 8 October, 2010 at 12:53 am
    Permalink

    Any hardwood tree will do, however hickory is thought to be particularly evil because it is a very dense and hard wood.

    Though as I’m sure Haron knows, Robert Heinlein did often speak reverently of peach switches. They work quite nicely, too.

    Willow is traditional, especially one brined in salt water.

    But my favorite switches come from pecan trees. I have a little bunny who sends me care packages of them each summer.

    Reply
  • Pingback: chross.blogt.ch - Chross Guide To The Spanking Internet

  • 9 October, 2010 at 7:54 am
    Permalink

    The only experience I have with a switch is actually from my childhood. I wasn’t spanked often but I remember one time when we were visiting family friends and my dad cut a switch from their willow tree to use on my behind. I do not really remember the feeling of getting spanked with it, or rather the physical feeling, but I do remember how scary it was watching him cut it and come towards me with it while he tells me he is gonna use it on me. Actually, this is one of only a couple times I remember being spanked as a child.

    Reply
  • 9 October, 2010 at 9:33 am
    Permalink

    @MsBetty – hickory’d be hard enough to find in the UK, but *pecan*???!! But you really do have me curious, now…

    @Lily – poor you.

    Reply
  • 9 October, 2010 at 11:39 am
    Permalink

    We’ve got a hazel tree*…. not sure I have the guts though….

    Hazel has been used to build bows. (not the English longbow-type)

    Hazel switches has also been used for braided fences, as it is as flexible as willow but is at the same time durable and don’t rot as easily as willow.

    A hazel rod was presiously a well known childrearing implement – the military also found it useful for much the same applications – a flexible hazelrod was the implement of choice when a solider had to run the gauntlet. (If gauntlet is the word I’m looking for… you know…running between two rows of men whipping you)

    * treee… hedge… shrubbery… tall as a tree, dense as a hedge…large as a shrubbery…. gives us tons of hazelnuts each year….

    Reply
  • 9 October, 2010 at 3:18 pm
    Permalink

    @midtjyden – go on, we’re all willing you to go out into your garden right now, cut a hazel switch, and report back on how effective it is 😉

    Reply
  • 10 October, 2010 at 3:28 am
    Permalink

    Well you know, Abel, in most of the US it’s very difficult to grow the type of birch tree that produces good birching branches, so we’ve had to make do with what grows here naturally.

    Even then, it varies quite a bit by region.

    And what on earth is wrong with hairbrushes?

    Reply
  • 10 October, 2010 at 6:25 am
    Permalink

    @Ms Betty – oh no! I didn’t realise the US was so deprived of proper birches… But (wilfully slightly misinterpreting your comment), I do love the idea of a hairbrush tree…

    Reply
  • 12 October, 2010 at 12:18 pm
    Permalink

    Reading of hazel I remembered this classic:
    http://www.zeno.org/Literatur/M/Busch,+Wilhelm/Bildergeschichten/Plisch+und+Plum/Siebentes+Kapitel

    “Haselrute” is obviously “hazel rod”. It is used on two boys (unfortunately) in this story.

    This is much more entertaining if you German, if only to get the rhythm and the rhymes. If anyone knows a good translation of this story, could you post the relevant part?
    Maybe some can check out which stories are included in: Gaus, Andy (2003). Max and Moritz and Other Bad-Boy Tales.

    Reply
  • 12 October, 2010 at 12:23 pm
    Permalink

    Wasn’t the ‘ash plant’ a term used for a stick to beat pupils with?
    The young hazel shoots are very good, and I seem to remember that one of the old public schools used apple switches -might have been Winchester -not sure though.

    The long fronds of weeping willow would produce a type of whip very erffectively.

    Anything thin flexible and whippy would hurt any way.

    Reply
  • 8 March, 2011 at 3:28 am
    Permalink

    In Louisiana there were nearby woods with saplings sprouting year round. It was hard to pick a bad one …. 4 or 5 feet high, smooth green bark and a couple of leaves on the top.

    Reply
  • 10 June, 2012 at 3:39 pm
    Permalink

    I grew up in Louisiana where there were many trees that produced suitable switches.
    However we had a shrub that grew along the fence line in our back yard called “RED TIP” Dont know the official name but it had long slender stems that grew straight up and had red leaves along the top. This was a favorite of my mothers i think because they were convenient and plentiful. She had a knack for twisting one off and pulling it through her hand to remove the leaves. All in a split second. She would leave about 4 inches of leaves along the tip I think for added sting. She could sure make you dance with that thing.

    Reply
  • 3 December, 2012 at 4:11 pm
    Permalink

    Weeping willows get it done everytime. My mom use to tie two together. Sometimes she would peel to that wet, green part. I didn’t have to get many spankings. I look for right now for my kids but I can’t find any weeping willow trees anymore.

    Reply
  • 3 April, 2013 at 5:41 am
    Permalink

    Well ha ha ha to you all cuz i’ve never had a spanken with a switch ever and i’m almost 29 now :p

    Reply
  • 3 April, 2013 at 7:26 am
    Permalink

    Linda – maybe if you had been, you’d not post such a bratty comment? 😉 (Welcome to the blog: nice to have you commenting!)

    Reply
  • 22 August, 2013 at 3:37 pm
    Permalink

    The only switch I’ve used and had used on me is from the forsythia bush. Very painful!

    Reply

Leave a Reply to candycane Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *