It’s rare that I’m angered enough by a newspaper article to change my scheduled post and whinge. But whinge I must, after Joan Smith’s column in The Independent on Sunday, in which she explores the treatment of a murdered schoolgirl’s family during her killer’s trial.

Her father, she tells us, owned a magazine containing “probably extreme pornographic material” of “a fetish nature… latex and bondage”. He “kept bondage gear in a box in the loft, including a rubber hood and a ball-shaped gag”.

And after repeating such private details, the journalist explains:

it is hard to see why possession of such material by the father of two teenage daughters should ever be treated as an entirely private matter. Looking at extreme pornography and acquiring restraints for use during sex are worrying behaviours, and it isn’t hard to imagine circumstances – a custody battle, for example – in which they might even be interpreted as potentially abusive. Indeed, what is so extraordinary about the outpouring of sympathy…  is that so many commentators have been willing to overlook what this might imply about his feelings towards women…

So, what precisely does an interest in fetish say about someone’s “feelings towards women”, Ms Smith? In what possible way does an interest in using restraints during sex suggest that one’s “abusive”?

See, it couldn’t possibly be that some women – bright, intelligent, capable women, entirely comfortable with taking their own decisions in life and in enjoying their own sexuality – might actually enjoy this stuff too? Nah: they’re all victims of us abusive men – even if they don’t actually realise it.

This is the sort of rubbish that some writers like Ms Smith perpetuate far too easily – often in the apparent name of feminism, the primary theme of most of her journalism. At least fresh voices, such as Caitlin Moran in her wonderful recent (highly-recommended) autobiography “How to be a Woman” are challenging this sort of prejudice and reclaiming the “feminist” word.

In any case, why stop there when it comes to condemning what people get up to in the bedroom? Hey, I have sex in the missionary position sometimes: I must be perpetuating age-old misogynist stereotypes by forcing my partner to “lie back and think of England”. If I take a girl from behind? Well, obviously, that’s me trying to subjugate her.

And why, whilst we’re at it, do I need to see details of someone else’s private life regurgitated again by newspapers which should know better? And how does being into BDSM cast doubts over one’s parenting ability?

This lazy, bigoted nonsense really has to stop. It’s no longer in the least acceptable (thank goodness) to judge people because of their sexual orientation; perhaps folks should think twice before condemning others for their consensual sexual activities. Shame on Ms Smith. Shame on The Independent on Sunday.