A journalist in South Africa has managed to get an entire column out of the fact that she’d been invited to a spanking party and didn’t go, because she’s actually not into spanking at all.
Um. Fascinating, I guess.
Don’t look at me like that, aren’t you even vaguely curious about what goes on at something called a spanking party in Tokai?
I would have gone purely out of curiosity. I just have so many questions. Like what happens at these things? Is there sex involved, or is it purely the act of spanking? Is everybody naked and is it debauched? Or is it all reserved and polite pinkie-raised cocktail drinking downstairs, and upstairs folks are squirreled away in the bedrooms going crazy? And what kind of person is going to these things? Couples or singles, oldies or youngies, hippies or yuppies? And will there be snacks or should I eat before I go? And most importantly, why, why and again I ask you, why?
I have a different question: who in their right mind invites a completely vanilla journalist to their spanking party? South African kinksters, what were you thinking? What would she have been writing if she’d gone?
Maybe they thought she wasn’t vanilla? That’s all I can think, because people here go out of their way to make sure that vanillas don’t even know that we’re doing anything kinky when we have a party at a hotel. To invite a completely vanilla journalist means articles that could incite torch and pitchfork wielding villagers.
And all I can think is… how fucking unfair is it that she has a column and I don’t? I’d have gone, and joined in. THAT would have made a much better column.
Well, quite.
Maybe someone thought she needed spanking? Having read what you posted, it seems entirely possible!
I was once at a private bdsm party where the host invited one of his academic colleagues, who had no particular interest in any kind of bdsm. So I have some idea how it *might* have happened.
The professor was curious enough to accept the invitation, and I found out about the whole thing because somebody said, “You’ve never played before? You should try spanking Adrian! She gives great feedback, and she likes lots of different kinds of spanking so you don’t have to worry about doing anything wrong.” The guy who had invited her was urging her to play with me right away, assuring her it would be great. It was kind of flattering.
Nevertheless, I insisted on sitting down with her to negotiate a little beforehand. I wasn’t exactly worried about her overstepping my limits…it just felt like she didn’t know what she was doing, and I wanted to make sure we were more or less on the same page before doing anything emotionally intense. I asked if she had a particular interest in spanking, or if she just wanted to top and thought spanking was a good place to start? She didn’t know–she hadn’t done either yet. Well, did she fantasize about pain, or being in control? Maybe about punishment dynamics? Not really any of that.
So I didn’t play with her. She seemed a little relieved. We went off to the kitchen to drink tea and talk about why we were there. She had been flirting with her colleague for a while. She found him attractive, so she laughed at his dirty jokes and wanted him to think of her as sexually adventurous, not a prude. I’m not sure if he was trying to sound her out and it was an honest misunderstanding (he thought she was secretly a kindred spirit), or if he knew she was playing along because she wanted him to think well of her and go from flirtation to seduction.