Many years ago now, I wrote a story that combined many of my favourite fantasy flavours: a school setting; the headmaster giving a deserved punishment to a girl he liked and trusted; a particularly hard, formal caning. It’s called The Punishment List, and I like it enough that it became the title of the collection of my stories that was published a couple of years back. It holds a very special place in my authorial heart.
Lately, after our most recent play together, I encouraged Kami to dust off the copy of my anthology that I’d given her a while ago. I’d hoped she’d enjoyed it; I hadn’t expected to receive an email shortly after, in which – to my surprise and delight – she asked (perhaps, demanded!) to play out the title story. A date was set; emails were swapped: harsh as the story is, Kami didn’t want me to go at all easy on her, and I gave her my word in reply that I wouldn’t – specifically, in addition to agreeing there’d be no warm-up (as there isn’t one in the story), my reply read:
I want to beat you just as hard as the girl I wrote about. *Just* as hard.
The scene duly set, my revision began: how many times did I re-read the script, wanting to get it right? Nerves set in: I knew Kami wanted an intense scene, and I wanted to get it right for her. And it’s a special story for me: I wanted to do it justice if I was going to play it out.
I shifted furniture around, deciding that this shouldn’t be played in a space I’d used before. A sofa was moved between rooms, rugs put in place, a table moved so that, as in the story, the crook-handled senior cane could be resting on it when the girl walked into the library. Ah yes, the senior cane: only my heaviest dragon cane would do. I practised: my poor pillows took it courageously.
The punishment book – old-looking, leather-bound, as in the story, was dusted off. The fountain pen with which the details would be recorded… damn: neither of mine would work; a quick run into town was called for, as nothing else would fit. The punishment list itself, pinned in the story to the main school noticeboard, was designed and printed and taped to the door.
Kami was picked up, and driven to school…
There’s that interlude before a scene in which the transformations take place: jeans give way to a suit and gown; comfortable everyday wear to school uniform and tie. Friends, to characters. And then I walked downstairs, closed the door, became the headmaster and waited for a girl’s knock.
It’s rare for me to cane a girl when she’s touching her toes; rare for me to cane a girl with no mercy, with such a heavy implement. Each stroke raised a fierce weal; each was followed by a long pause, until the head prefect could murmur the count and her “thank you, sir”, and then more of a wait as I made her anticipate the next cut.
One of the features of the story is that Alice receives extra strokes for not holding her position, on top of the eight which have already been awarded. I’d wondered if this would play out in reality. It did.
A girl’s cowering on the floor, sobbing, clearly struggling. It’s evident that the caning is proving to be a dreadful ordeal. What does one do? As a headmaster: wait for her to compose herself, then carry on. As a headmaster-who’s-really-a-top-playing-a-scene-with-a-friend? Have a moment of doubt, a fleeting crisis of conscience, then recall your clear agreement: hard, no mercy. And wait for her to compose herself and carry on.
Alice’s hands were shaking so badly as I made her sign the book after her tenth stroke that she could scarcely hold the pen. And that was only half the story, for any girl would have received that number of strokes: the punishment for the head girl would be doubled. The next batch were again as hard as a school caning could be – and then it was over.
It was an amazing scene, that couldn’t have worked without the clearest communication, deep trust – and a great partner to play with. Thank you, Kami: you made a truly wonderful, amazingly brave Alice. I was so delighted that you asked to play it. I was proud of you for taking it. I loved every moment of it.
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You can read the original story here (or in the book to which it gave its name), and you can read Kami’s account of the scene on her blog (together with photos). Hope you enjoy!
I worried before the scene you would hold back seeing how much pain I was in. During the scene, when struggling in pain, this particular worry definitely took a back seat! 😉
Im amazed and trully impressed (and not a at all scared!) that you didnt hold back. And I appreciated how much your trusted me.
Funnily I found it easier to play the scene with a top that I knew would struggle with hurting me so much. With someome I knew will be so proud if I survive.
Your aim was amazing too. Especially considering the strength, how much I was trembling and the somewhat rarely practiced position. Every single stroke exactly in the right place (as seen on photos on my blog).
Heh, its been a week since we played and I still have red cane tramlines on my right cheek and a bit of brown brusing on the left!
Yay to marks a week on
Thanks for a lovely comment, Kami. Such an intense, fab scene!
Ah! That evil wicked list! I’m glad it worked out so well for you both
FWIW – I think you made the right decision to stay in character. I haven’t often played to that degree of severity, but on the occasions that I have, it would have been a big let-down if my Top/Dom would have effectively ended the roleplay early.
It’s probably not politically correct but I kinda feel that the decision on if/when to break out of a scene should be down to the person on the receiving end.
I do know that Tops and Doms and other cane-wielders have feelings and emotions too, which should be respected but I kinda feel that short of a complete emotional/nervous breakdown, that once people have engaged to play a scene they kinda owe it to each other to play all of it out, and not pull out just because of some emotional discomfort.
I’ve probably not explained myself sufficiently well here, so I shall stand by to answer any torpedoes
Domino – great comment. I’d have felt that I’d have been really betraying the trust that Kami had placed in me had I stopped the scene. That would have been unforgiveable. At the same time, had she decided to call a halt, I’d actually *not* have been uncomfortable with or upset by that. But I never at any moment felt she was going through with it to keep me happy – rather, than we trusted each other to have thought (and shared) very carefully in advance about what we each wanted from the scene, and knew how it would therefore play out.
“It’s probably not politically correct but I kinda feel that the decision on if/when to break out of a scene should be down to the person on the receiving end.”
Domino, I absolutely agree with it. It is nice when a top can sense when something goes wrong and is able to stop the scene. But there ARE some scenes when tops shouldnt stop it.
There was apoint when I wanted to stop this scene, but couldnt bring myself to do it. I suppose ther are also scene that bottoms shouldnt stop either ;).
Abel – I was worried before the scene about stopping it and making you feel uncomfortable and/or guilty that you pushed me too far. Im glad I didnt have to!
Domino, I think when you play at this level, safe words no longer exist. Kami gave informed and very clear consent. They’ve played together many times before; she knew what she was getting into. And like her I would have been very disappointed if Abel had pulled out of the scene.
Just like I would have if Abel had stopped my scene with Misstress Switch, even though he knew how badly I was hurting, he understood that I needed to finish.
This type of play can only be had with trusted partners and I’m glad you both got what you needed from it. I have often wondered if the love we have for another person can inhibit play. But think that deserves a post of its own 😉
x
I’ve never played with a safeword – I kinda rely on the fact that I trust the people I play with and if I said ‘safeword’ or “can’t breathe” they would know I *really* needed to stop
EJ – spot on regarding safewords; we were too deep for that.
BTW any new readers who’ve not read about the scene that Emma Jane mentions where she played with Mistress Switch can find my perspectives here, linked to her description. It was quite the hardest caning I have ever seen:
http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog/2010/12/06/sharing-the-pain/
Safewords are awkward whether Im deep or not! LOL