Not for perverts. Honest.

One of my eBay notifications the other day informed me of the following item for sale: “Traditional RATTAN – Very Painful – ‘Professional’ – “Senior” – school cane”.

So much, so good. Despite the overly-enthusiastic sales pitch, which makes me doubt that the item would be quite as professional or senior as it proclaims, I get the gist of what they’re offering. But then…

*NOTE** the term JUNIOR and SENIOR refer to SIZE or Diameter and not to the USE of this item… Do NOT confuse with school classifications e.g. Junior school and Senior School

Oh, right. Because, of course, no-one’s going to use the item for school roleplay. Because that would be wrong… Although:

This is an authentic ‘Senior’ school cane almost exactly as you would have seen used on the backsides of naughty… girls in schools before 1975. It is stiffer than our standard senior cane and therefore offers a more vicious and painful experience if ever used. Ideal for those wanting a ‘professional’ type of implement that will be used as intended! This would leave red weals with long lasting painful sting if used…

Right. So it is for roleplay after all. Or are they suggesting that it’s only suitable for buyers with time machines who find themselves transported back to a headmaster’s study in the early 70s. (And where on earth does the arbitrary 1975 come from?!). But think again:

This is sold as a Professional item, collector’s piece or decorative item only and is not sold or advocated to be used.

By now I am thoroughly confused. And actually pretty annoyed, that people would feel the need to mask a perfectly standard accessory for this thing that we do in such cautious terms. Yes, folks: I cane people. Hard. Sometimes they’re wearing school uniform… if they’re lucky. But, you know, it’s consensual, they’re adults – and it’s not something to be ashamed of.

The final paragraph was worrying, though:

 ***NOTE*** Currently the Malaysian Government has placed a ban on the export of cane to the UK because of the decline in the export of cane furniture. They think we in the UK are making cane furniture instead of buying from Malaysia but they haven’t considered the fact that cane furniture is out of fashion at the moment.

Do you think I need to stock up?

4 thoughts on “Not for perverts. Honest.

  • 2 March, 2013 at 9:30 am
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    Lol so liked what ” if they ‘re lucky ” didn ‘t say 😉

    Reply
  • 2 March, 2013 at 1:45 pm
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    Yes, Abel, you are 100% right. I also cane consensual female’s hard on their bare bottoms. And it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world.

    Reply
  • 3 March, 2013 at 7:27 am
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    Maybe you should buy lots of Malaysian cane furniture.

    Reply
  • 7 March, 2013 at 9:06 am
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    Apparently we have lot of rattan here. Haven’t found it yet! Hence I planted bamboo in my hard.

    Reply

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