Perish the thought that I would write a blog entry inspired by something as mundane as an inaccurate autocorrect, but my phone amended an unimpressed gentleman the other day to read:
The headmaster was unimpressive.
At first, I merely thought of someone shambolic, a laughing stock amongst the girls and singularly unable to maintain discipline.
But then… perhaps it was simply that he was less accurate when administering canings than his predecessor had been. (“Rev Jenkins was renowned for administering perfectly parallel strokes when administering a beating. But as first girls to be caned by his successor were inspected in the showers after their punishment, it was deemed that in comparison the headmaster was unimpressive.”)
Or maybe it was simply that he was too severe: unable to control the girls with a glance, with a phrase, and too quick to resort to corporal punishment.
Or perhaps, even, the head girl had complained to the chairman of the governors about the way in which a particular incident had been handled. The matter had been investigated, and the head – of course – clearly exonerated, and advised to discuss the issue with the prefect in question. He’d read from the report, as she stood before him. “’The headmaster was unimpressive’, eh?” Twelve hard strokes with his heaviest cane would follow: “To teach you the respect for authority that I thought you had, but which you clearly lack.”