The Spanking Writers

I’ve just discovered that the Royal Mail issued a special set of commemorative stamps last month, honouring Roald Dahl’s most popular stories:

Anyone spot the omission? Yeah: damn: they forgot the “Galloping Foxley” stamp. Dahl’s account of public school life – featuring a savage prefectorial caning – was one of the earliest accounts I read of school corporal punishment. Indeed, in many ways, swapped mentally to an M/f scenario, it still shapes much of what lies at the core of my school kink.

I’ve never actually recreated the exact scene, though – with me as the prefect, caning a younger girl: it really rather sounds like something I should try to arrange… although finding somewhere with space for a run-up might be challenging!

I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. Kink and poly, both blatantly appearing in the mainstream media today.

Here are the two comments that took me aback:

“It’s believed that the… beating and back massage stimulate Tash…”

followed shortly by:

“Having mated with both males, she’s not sure just who goes with who right now…”

She makes her choice and before too long, “they’re at it again”. (Oh, and did I mention the rape scene?)

Anyone care to guess the context?

Oh, but today’s such an easy post for me to write… because, actually, my dear friend Martha’s basically written it for me. Here, with her permission, is an extract from an email she sent me yesterday afternoon. (Overseas readers might need the context that 5th November is fireworks day here in the UK, marking Guy Fawkes’ attempts to blow up parliament):

We were considering going to a local fireworks display tomorrow so I was reading through the info about it on their event website. Included in the safety section was the following line:

“The firing and throwing of your own fireworks is strictly prohibited and will be dealt with firmly by the Stewards.”

Now if that doesn’t have “topical SW post” written all over it, I don’t know what does! Or, put another way, it made me think immediately of you!

Indeed. I shall go and buy a high-visibility vest immediately and head straight to the nearest fireworks display, ready to pretend to be a Steward and to spank any girls who might be behaving unsafely…

I has a rather lovely new toy – a new car, the first I’ve bought for myself in ten years. I say ‘new’: ‘newish’ – it’s got just under 4,000 miles on the clock, as a result of which I saved myself in the region of a handy £5,000.

I picked it up from the showroom this morning, and the salesperson handed me the paperwork to sign. There, in big letters, I read:

Owner name: Mr A Jenkins

I nearly fainted on the spot – how on earth did they know my kinky pseudonym? And then I realised – that was the name of the first owner. Absolutely honestly! As startles go, it has to be the best ever.

Aside from enjoying naughty photos, such as those on my Tumblr site, I’ve always loved snapping things in real-life that have startled me – sparking my kinky imagination. Here are a few decidedly safe for work such shots from my travels during the year thus far – in the hope that they might provoke a few less work-safe thoughts.

A table in the corridor in my hotel in Italy that just looked so empty without a naked, tied girl being caned:

My new cufflinks, from Malaysia:

The old album cover, displayed (rather bizarrely) in a Berkshire clothes shop…

A paddle shop – quite literally – in Colorado (*such* a shame I was there with a work colleague):

Read the rest of this entry »

A journalist in South Africa has managed to get an entire column out of the fact that she’d been invited to a spanking party and didn’t go, because she’s actually not into spanking at all.

Um. Fascinating, I guess.

Don’t look at me like that, aren’t you even vaguely curious about what goes on at something called a spanking party in Tokai?

I would have gone purely out of curiosity. I just have so many questions. Like what happens at these things? Is there sex involved, or is it purely the act of spanking? Is everybody naked and is it debauched? Or is it all reserved and polite pinkie-raised cocktail drinking downstairs, and upstairs folks are squirreled away in the bedrooms going crazy? And what kind of person is going to these things? Couples or singles, oldies or youngies, hippies or yuppies? And will there be snacks or should I eat before I go? And most importantly, why, why and again I ask you, why?

I have a different question: who in their right mind invites a completely vanilla journalist to their spanking party? South African kinksters, what were you thinking? What would she have been writing if she’d gone?

Oh, this is just lovely. Some kind soul, while compiling a history of Royal Grammar School in High Wycombe has seen fit to include a chapter on “RGS and corporal punishment”.

It includes such lovely things as this anecdote:

In one notable incident that must have been in the early 1940′s [the Headmaster] was part of the team in a Staff v. Old Boys match. The pupils were obliged to spectate. It was a wet day and, as fate would have it, Mr Tucker came down face first in a huge patch of mud. The boys’ reaction was predictable. They howled with delight and no doubt some less than sympathetic comments were made. Mr Tucker’s failed to see the funny side and the next day he caned the whole school.

This reminds me of a boys v. staff basketball match at my old school, during the course of which the universally hated maths teacher took a ball in the eye, and was sporting the most fantastic black eye for the next week. There wasn’t much sympathy for him, either. No universal canings, though.

Back to High Wycombe, though, where prefects also had the right to use corporal punishment, which they recorded in a book later found behind a cupboard. There, the senior prefect had written:

Redgate, Justice and Bolton were brought in by Ives for ragging on their way home from school as they were going down Amersham Hill. This was considered serious as it would bring discredit upon the school. The worst offenders, Bolton and Redgate were given three strokes while Justice received two.

Mmm, it reads like poetry. What’s “ragging”, though?

My trawl of the internet for spanking references has turned up something quite quaint an weird: a cutting from “The Meriden Daily Journal” from Nov 26, 1940, headed “Mrs Catt would use spanking machine on dreamers of empires”.

Mrs. Catt was an 81-year-old veteran suffragist who was addressing the opening of Women’s Centennial Congress. The gist of her message was that war was bad.

Here’s what she said (this is during World War II, right?):

Perhaps what we most need is an international mothers’ Gestapo whose business it will be to hunt out the world empire dreamers in infancy and use a spanking machine on them.

Excuse me, she wants to organise what?

…I think language has changed since then, just a bit.

How’s this for a newspaper headline: “Stowaway gets hug, kiss, spanking” (St. Petersburg Times, May 6, 1967. Obviously, I had to click to investigate.

A 20-year-old Australian schoolteacher wanted to see her boyfriend, a Californian sailor, so she stowed away in an admiral’s cabin on an American missile cruiser. I gather she got caught before the ship left port, but some sailors clubbed together to get her a plane ticket to see her beaux.

What followed was this:

There’s an actual OTK spanking picture of Bud and Sandra and the link above, just in case anybody had any doubts that he did it properly.

Aww, the sixties, you were so cute.

You know how we pour over bookshelves trying to find the best spanking bits in them? Well, sometimes the national press does the work for you. Check out this old Guardian list entitled (I kid you not) “Ten of the best floggings”. From David Copperfield to James Bond, it’s a nice selection.

Now, we could probably argue about whether the floggings listed in the article are actually the best you can find – my view: meh, some of them are good, but where are all the girls? – but it’s jolly nice of the Guardian to publish the list in the first place.