The Spanking Writers

Another of our oh-so-occasional non-kinky entries. I mentioned yesterday that we’re off to a wedding tomorrow. Coincidentally, I’ve just been browsing the website of Suzanne Vega (a brilliant singer-songwriter, and a truly awesome performer) in the hope that she might tour the UK later this year.

Her home page shows a picture of her, looking radiant, at her recent wedding. There’s a formal announcement:

New York City, February 13, 2006: Suzanne Vega of New York City and Paul Mills of Los Angeles were married on February 11th, 2006 at her home in New York City. She is a singer-songwriter, the daughter of Richard Peck of Irvine, California and Patricia Vega of New York City.

Not just “a” singer-songwriter, Suzanne. One of the greatest. Her modesty sums up her brilliance.

But it was the final line of the announcement that tweaked the heart-strings, and made me want to share this with readers here:

“This is the bride’s second marriage and the groom’s first, the last for both.”

“The last for both”. How touching is that? I’m sure that anyone like me who’s been married previously, before meeting the true love of their life, will cherish that phrase forever.

Abel is reading a travel book about Iran and emailing me quotes. The following conversation ensues.

From: Abel
To: Haron

“The Pleasure House stood nearby; its walls and ceilings were made of mirrors, and in its centre was a sunken chamber, down whose sloping sides the Shah would slide, and frolic naked with fifty of his favourites.”

From: Haron
To: Abel

1. Fifty?
2. How did he get out?

From: Abel
To: Haron

1. You don’t think 50 is enough?
2. Floated, I should imagine.

Nightmare!

Haron is away. I am technically illiterate. Our wireless network stops working; I can’t access any of the files from my laptop.

I try the usual tech support trick – switch the PC and router on and off. Still no joy.

I haul myself out of my seat, and wander downstairs to check on the laptop.

There, stretched out, a picture of contentment, lies our cat – soaking up the heat from the laptop. Darling animal had managed to switch off the wireless connection.

If the cat were Haron….

OK, so this isn’t spanking-related, but there was just the right implied degree of consensual non-consensuality for me to enjoy it – and it’s very funny anyway!

Just catching up on the remainder of last Sunday’s newspapers. (Yes, I know it’s Thursday; it’s been a busy week). And there’s a lovely anecdote by Christa D’Souza in the Sunday Times. She’s picturing about a forthcoming holiday with her husband – their first without their kids: “Hmmm, here we are, in a room with a big bed and a mini-bar full of chilled champagne and prettily packed condoms.”

She was talking about this to a girlfriend, who explained: “Oh God, and I bet he’ll bring one of those rabbit things too.”

Cue husband re-appearing, wine glass in hand: “Rabbit? Forget rabbit. I’m bringing the whole of Watership Down.”

Lovely comment!

Reminds me of the old childhood joke: “You’ve read the book, heard the song, seen the movie – now eat the pie.” I am just NOT going there by extending this train of thought…