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(Abel is away; he has clearly been watching nubile young ladies opening their exam results on hotel television. Here’s what he emailed me this morning.)
“Your father would like to see you in his study now.”
The butler escorts her, knocking politely on the door.
She enters. The heavy door is closed behind her.
He sits at the far end of the room, behind his desk.
There, in front of him, the crisp unopened envelope containing her results.
Next to the envelope, a cane. And a bottle of champagne.
“I do so hope that we will be able to *celebrate*, my dear.”
He takes the antique silver letter-opener, carefully slices open the envelope. He reads the results, raising an eyebrow, then looks up at her…
Sarah
August 16th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Does Abel’s mind never stop with the kinky thoughts?
Makes me wish I was the girl, only trouble is, I really can’t decide if I’d like to have done well or badly in my exams! Definately one of those tingly, butterfly in tummy scenarios
Haron
August 16th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I don’t think it does ever stop, Sarah. On the other hand, watching girls get their exam results kind of naturally leads one to have a perverted episode. *g*
Harriet
August 16th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Oooh how exciting a “canehanger”! I do hope you will be revealing what happened next…….
H x
Rob
August 16th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
After my restless night’s sleep I take some consolation that there is another soul whose perverted mind never rests….
Abel
August 17th, 2007 at 10:30 am
BTW, anyone else noticed the amazing coincidence whereby TV crews and newspapers visiting schools yesterday as the results came out just happened, purely at random, to end up with photographs that only happened to show the most attractive girls…
Sarah
August 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Abel – I spotted that, attractive, clever girls. Didn’t spot any girls with poor results about to head home to be flogged, didn’t see any of them until I fell asleep last night!
Abel
August 18th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
The ever-amusing satirical site Newsbiscuit also picked up on the pretty girl syndrome:
http://newsbiscuit.com/article/newspaper-hacks-celebrate-prettiest-a-level-students-ever-180
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Newspaper editors across the country were celebrating this week, as it was revealed that this year’s A level students are the prettiest ever. The results met with complaints from disgruntled old picture editors who used to cover the A level results in the 1980′s. ‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18 year old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page. Nowadays there so are many A’s being dished out that even the most useless inexperienced journalist can find one.’
However press photographers were insistent that their jobs were just as difficult as 20 years ago. ‘It’s all very well being criticised by bitter old hacks’, said Nigel Tweed of the Daily Telegraph, ‘but the fact is you can’t just stick any old totty on our front page like you used to. Nowadays you need to find pretty twins hugging another or at least the outline of a nipple’.
Dave Curtly from The Sun was equally adamant that standards had not fallen. ‘It’s tough out there,’ he said. ‘Page 3 is now getting difficult to fill, with some many A grade students around there are very few dumb blondes left’.