We often talk about fantasy celebrity spankers, and somehow, more often than not, they turn out to be actors. That’s quite understandable: we see them a lot.

Yesterday I chilled out with an audiobook on my iPod, “The Waste Lands” by Stephen King, read by the author. And I found myself thinking: ooh boy, wouldn’t it be nice to get a spanking from him… He has some incerdibly hot spanking and semi-spanking episodes in his books, and I bet he could create a real feeling of dread were we to play a scene.

This made me think. I spend much more time in the company of my favourite writers (or anyway, their books) than I do watching any actor, and yet I had never before pictured one of them as a fantasy spanker.

So, Stephen King is the spanker for me. Who else? I’d have to say, Neil Gaiman. He’s not one of my favourite writers, but on a shallow physical level… well, he’s hot.

I have considered and discounted Kazuo Ishiguro (he pretends that he doesn’t write science fiction, and therefore we have irrevocable ideological differences; damn shame, ’cause he’s also hot), Terry Pratchett (hot, yes, but you could never be sure whether he’s taking a mickey out of you) and Ian McEwan (although he has a suitably sick mind, I just don’t know what he looks or sounds like).

I’m sure I’ll come up with more candidates upon reflection.

How about you? Which writers would you like to spank or be spanked by? (They don’t have to be alive.)