Cheerleaders should be paddled. (Surely?)
Posted by Abel on 17 Nov 2007 at 08:08 am | Tagged as: In the Neighbourhood
I’ve just stumble on a phrase that’s plain wrong.
“Cheerleader caned.”
There, I’ve made you wince too. Oh, the incongruity of those two words.
Cheerleaders are, have to be, American. As American as… as… (the thought that came to mind was ‘George Bush’, but that might upset some of you). As Thanksgiving, perhaps, as the Empire State Building..
And the cane as a punishment implement? As English as Buckingham Palace, Yorkshire pudding, as “long shadows on cricket grounds and warm beer”.
The two just don’t belong together. But, with an evil grin, I imagine a public schoolmaster taking up his appointment as head of a distinguished girls’ academy in the States. When questioned by the school governors about his radical new disciplinary plans, he’d explain, “If you’d like to show me where the School Regulations specify that one should use the paddle, I will happily convert, but in the meantime the cane has served me to great effect over the years.”
-------Now you can buy a book of the best entries from "The Spanking Writers".
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I might have found the ideal event for you - surely they must have overlooked you in error as a potential judge :-
http://www.wiganwarriors.com/news_full.asp?newsid=3402
So it might just be possible.
Have you thought that you might be being just the teeny, tiniest bit pedantic, Abel?
Did you know that George Bush used to be a cheerleader? If you do a google search you get images.
Thanks for that, Indigo, now I have to scrape my eyeballs with oven cleaner. And I haven’t even seen the images…
That really is a wildly disturbing fact, I found it out from watching Bring It On Again. (Cheerleading movie.. I’d recomend it!)
Abel, the phrase you were looking for is, “As American as apple pie.”
Apple pie - American? Not an obvious association for me, to be honest.
Coming soon - the one in which George W Bush is spanked on a football field in a tight leotard. Or not, as the case may be.
The school board members might respond, “In the U.S., students are beaten over their clothes and we feel the force of the cane would be somewhat dissipated whereas the force of the paddle wouldn’t. However, as you say, you are the expert.” Some of the board members might wonder if hitting a child with a two inch diameter piece of wood used by people to help them walk is a bit excessive. More U.S./English differences.
I can imagine the first delinquents being eagerly quizzed by the rest of the students about the differences and notes being passed in classes sharing the knowledge, which would lead to a rise in the number of disciplinary actions, which would lead to the new principal being quizzed by the board members, which would lead to him being disciplined. No, that last phrase can’t be right. Which would lead them to conclude that he is a catalyst for bad behavior. No, that’s not right. Which leads them to congratulate him for being such an exacting taskmaster and for inspiring the teachers. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
I found it quite amusing to read comments on this blog accusing Abel of being pedantic on the same day that Abel took issue with the same on the Lowewood site. I would almost be on Abel’s side were it not for the American as George Bush comment that he (almost) didn’t make. Timory it right– American as Apple Pie. It’s probably the only thing the liberals and the neo-cons agree about.
I found the picture to which Indigo referred: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushcheerleader.htm
I agree. American as apple pie. There is not an American alive who doesn’t know that expression. Wander into any diner across America and you will know why. But hell, the Americans can look after themselves. Our new headmaster here comes straight from your most esteemed institution there and all this talk of introducing the cane to new territories has me a little flustered….
…and my thoughts are with Haron as Sunday dawns there…do a runner girl! It’s not too late….
Indiana
I wasn’t taking issue with the Lowewood commenter for being pedantic:they were right. My response there was more a reaction to the somewhat graceless style of their intervention!
Here, I wasn’t actually looking for the phrase ‘as American as apple pie’ when I wrote the entry, as it wouldn’t make much sense to many of our pie-munching readers outside the States. But I’m interested to learn of the American claim to ownership of the dish concerned!!!
I prefer wriggling cheer-brats over my lap, actually.
On a side note, someone really needs to re-make the cheerleading movie “Bring it On’ as a spanko cinematic enterprise.
Well they do call New York
The Big Apple
“Thy breath is like the steame of apple-pyes” Arcadia (1590) by Robert Greene - English poet
Seems a constant on any menu here in Britain too, and would be a nice reward for any juvenile deliquents after they’ve bravely taken their birching on a cold November Sunday, and for any poor man charged with carrying out the birching ,I sometimes think they have the hardest role… but then I pretty quickly come to my senses!
Dave: I couldn’t agree more about Bring it on, it would be perfect as a spanko film, Hollywood should be informed forthwith
Sarah: A piece of apple pie, you say! My dear, by the time those two are finished a hearty beef steak and kidney pie down at the pub sounds more like it to me….after that they can tuck into some apple pie if that is their want…or rather than lingering in their seats too long Haron may prefer an ice-cream in a cone. You can eat that standing up!
(Ah, no thank you Abel. I don’t want to be a reformatory inmate today…but Sarah may be interested….)
Hmm the 3rd ‘bring it on’ film is called ‘bring it on: all or nothing’. Abel maybe you should suggest they make ‘bring it on: cane or paddle’ next- the 3rd one is about i girl who moves school and has to adapt to a new squad so surely a moving headmaster would be the logical progression?
Rob: Thanks for volunteering me for the reformatory, I’ll pass this once if that’s ok with you although I can’t say I’ve ever been cast as a juvenile delinquent (suprisingly) and I’ll try anything once
Sarah: Well I am disappointed of course, but if you’re not in the mood for a birching, what can I say……
Just remember that the last time you were birched you put it in the ‘better than 1 million pounds’ category, and I must say I sat up and took notice. Perhaps it does not speak well of me, but I’d take the million pounds……
Rob: The whole occasion was something I wouldn’t have missed for a million pounds and I hope Haron is feeling the same way…. the actual birching, whilst it was happening was something I’d have happily swapped at the time for £2.23 and a small bag of pistachio nuts!