Celebrity-endorsed implements

The other morning people on the radio were moaning about celebrity endorsement. How it didn’t add anything to the product, other than an extra zero to the price. Is a Jamie Oliver plate better than any other pretty piece of porcelain? Does David Beckham’s name improve an aftershave?

I disagree entirely, and think it’s high time that celebrities began endorsing spanking implements. I would be completely sold on the idea from the word go.

An Alan Rickman cane would endlessly improve our toy chest. Abel suggested a Gordon Ramsay tawse, though I think a David Tennant or a Sean Connery tawse would be preferable.

On the other hand, why not have both? We could have competing celebrity implement brands.
I can’t think of anyone to endorse frat paddles or riding crops. Anybody want to help?

19 thoughts on “Celebrity-endorsed implements

  • 7 February, 2008 at 11:04 am
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    Gordon Ramsay tawse? I can’t see him using a tawse. A cutting board style paddle, maybe…

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 3:56 pm
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    I think I’d like a Felicity Kendal riding crop :) and definitely the David tennant tawse…makes me go all wobbly just thinking about it!

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 4:53 pm
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    What about the Zara Phillips riding crop? She’s SOOO annoying, I know plenty of people who’d want to use one on her 😉

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 5:26 pm
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    Yeah, I can think of a few celebs who’d be good endorsements for the receiving side…

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 5:29 pm
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    I’ll definitely go for the Daniel Craig tawse,licensed to spank!

    H x

    p.s. Haron have you seen the delicious Alan Rickman in Sweeney Todd.He plays the evil guardian with fiendish plans for his beautiful young ward so convincingly!

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 5:37 pm
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    Cath – the celebrities are supposed to make the implements more attractive, not to annoy the customer base LOL

    Harriet – I’ve only seen bits of Sweeney Todd, haven’t been able to get to the cinema yet since it’s come out. Frustration, frustration…

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 6:18 pm
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    It’s absolutely brilliant and I adore Mr Depp but not in any spanking capacity.
    However the scene when Alan Rickman comes out with the line “spare the rod and spoil the child” as his uncooperative ward is despatched to the asylum……….. and it’s all so gothically dark,you will love it!

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 9:00 pm
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    I’m lost and I don’t think I should be here… I was only looking for a new ping pong paddle.

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 9:07 pm
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    Haron – I’m assuming here that sub girls aren’t going to be buying the implements – their doms are. And I bet customers would be more likely to buy the implements if the label provided a vision of someone they’d like to use it on! Think Abel, for example. Would he rather have the Haron Cane (with a picture of you on the label), or the Gordon Ramsay tawse, with a picture of Gordon looking menacing. I suspect the former… 😉

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 9:57 pm
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    Ohhhh I’m drooling over the idea of a Daniel Craig anything! There’s a quite sexy male rider- William Fox Pitt who could do a crop?

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 10:38 pm
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    Alan Rickman cane, Alan Rickman cane, Alan Rickman cane….(trance). “Thus far I have spared the rod on you,” he would say, as indeed he does in Sweeney Todd.

    (thud)

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 11:19 pm
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    It’s gotta be the Tony McCoy riding crop for me – with excessive use please 😉 (For the uninitiated, after all those years of practice as the UK’s leading jump jockey, he ought to be good!!)

    Also yes please to the Gordon Ramsey tawse (going back to his roots!), the Alan Rickman cane and the Daniel Craig Anything 😉 For paddling though, my current favourite is that nice young man, Barak Obama. I have very little interest in politics overall, particularly foreign politics, but mmm, he does cheer up a news broadcast on a rainy day 😉

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  • 7 February, 2008 at 11:51 pm
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    Richard – that should be a lesson to you for giving in to Americanisms. I’m sure a search for a “table tennis racket” would have allowed you to keep your innocence. However, as you’re tainted now, you may as well hang around. :)

    P.S. I think, the person who has surfed over searching for reviews of “Etiquette Guide for Girls” got even more of a shock.

    Sheherazade – Yeah, I got stuck on the “Alan Rickman cane” part for a while, too.

    Martha – I see where you’re coming from with Obama; he’s certainly an attractive young man. However, you can keep him sweetie, ’cause I just can’t get over the fact he’s a politician.

    Oh! Oh! I know another one. A Stephen King paddle.

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  • 8 February, 2008 at 12:18 am
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    I don’t think I would know where to stop on this one. First riding crops. Emma Spencer (ex lady jockey now tv pundit), Hayley Turner (ditto Martha’s sentiments on excessive use) and Pippa Funnell the equestrian lady.

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  • 8 February, 2008 at 1:37 am
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    It’s gotta be an American endorsing the paddle doesn’t it? Although Barack Obama did tell everyone that he may be skinny, but he was tough, my vote is for Brett Favre (40-year-old quarterback of the Green Bay Packers). Sorry for the obscure (to people who don’t use ping pong paddles) nominee, but I just couldn’t think of an actor who fit.

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  • 14 February, 2008 at 1:02 am
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    Ooooh, a James Spader paddle! That man has to be a spanko – there are just too many references in everything he does.

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  • 22 April, 2008 at 6:03 pm
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    I know I’m a bit late coming into this, but I just found this blog. (It’s been a busy winter. :)

    Haron, since you mention David Tennant, I wanted to ask if you happened to catch an Episode of Dr. Who last series titled “Family of Blood”? (Series 3, episode 9)

    In this episode, set in 1916 (I think), the Doctor is undercover at a boy’s boarding school. In one scene he is standing at the front of the class in full academic regalia and holding a traditional school cane.

    I haven’t had any luck finding stills, but I may still have the episode somewhere…

    Ms. Betty

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