The clocks changed at the weekend, right, costing us an hour of sleep. Everyone knows that, surely?

Dear readers, I need your help. I stayed last night at our friend Martha’s; she set her alarm for this morning, to make sure we got into London today in good time.

At 6.33 this morning, we were discussing who would use the shower first – our ever-so-polite “after you”s reflecting the sub-text of “I don’t want to go and stand under streams of water at this ungodly hour”. And then Martha went pale, before confessing: “OMG, I forgot to change the time on the alarm clock.” See, it wasn’t 6.33 – it was 7.33, already after the time at which we should have been on the tube.

But what is a gentleman to do now? I can see three options for this evening’s little discussion:

a) a traditional six of the best, with the cane

b) sixty spanks, one for each minute’s delay to our plans

c) a sound telling-off.

When we eventually reached the tube, I decided that an element of democracy (or even merely audience participation) was called for. So, dear readers, which option do you think is appropriate? I’ll tally the votes from your comments after dinner this evening, and the majority verdict will determine the young lady’s fate.

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