Last week’s Sunday Times Magazine featured a “day in the life” feature by the Headmaster of Eton: a soliloquy about things he will normally do on a working day.

Apparently, while the boys “take refreshments” mid-morning, the staff at Eton come together every day for “Chambers”, which, the esteemed gentleman says -

…enables the house masters to see me if there is a disciplinary problem with a boy - anything from missing a lesson to more serious matters. The boy gets summoned to my office, usually just before lunch. It’s a pretty formal appointment: the system is called “the Bill”. I always listen to what the boy has to say. Sometimes he has a different perspective on a situation. It’s not always a simple exercise in administering punishment.

But mostly, it’s about punishment, right? I can see a fantasy school adopting this formal summoning procedure. The glowering housemaster, the menacing pause.

“I shall be speaking to the Headmaster about this at the Chambers, young lady.”

Milk and chocolate biscuits tasting like paste, as she wonders what is being said.

The summons.

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