The Evening Standard, that bible for Boris-worshippers, reported on Friday that there’s a new service at trendy hotel Andaz.

“There’s a book menu in each room… You choose a novel – anything from Dickens to Jackie Collins – and they send up a man or woman dressed in pyjamas who will sit in your room and read it to you.”

Oh, where to start? The choice of book would be important, the young lady blushing deeply as she read out the account of a girl’s spanking.

And then there’s the manner of her reading. The gentleman raising an eyebrow, as room service read from a favourite novel. “I don’t think it does go quite like that, does it, young lady?”

“Er, well, sir…”

“Did I ask you to skip paragraphs as you read?”

“No, sir, I mustn’t have been concentrating…”

…and down would come her pyjama trousers as she was taught her lesson: over the knee, a hard hand-spanking.

Actually, forget the hotel: sounds like a wonderful scene!