Our friend Cath, newly arrived in a foreign country, sends me a text message:
Omg just got a fright – had a cop car tailing me for the last 15 miles – lights flashing but no siren – right into the village. Luckily it turned off about half a mile before me – but I was so careful to stick to the speed limit! Couldn’t work out if I’d done something wrong – guess not!
I think she wanted sympathy. Instead, I replied:
Phew! And I won’t fantasise about a girl newly-arrived in some foreign country, being taken into the police station and offered the choice of having her offence put on record, or the “we do uphold traditional ways here: you could take a birching instead” option!
No. I wouldn’t fantasise about that sort of thing at all. Not the narrow stairs leading to the cold, stone punishment room. Not the commanding officer, appearing in the doorway, switch in hand. Not the order to lower her jeans and stretch out over the end of the wooden table.
Not the strokes, and the cries, and the agonising moment when, once it was over, she had to pull her trousers back up over a freshly-welted bottom. Not her painful drive home afterwards.
No, I really wouldn’t. Honest. Much.
I’ve been spending a certain amount of time drooling over the Lupus Pictures spanking site recently, and that just seems so very much like a plotline from one of their movies!
Of course, I’d never fantasize about anything like that, either…!