Abel is naughty
Posted by Haron on 31 Jul 2008 at 08:31 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
When we came back to our hotel room last night, and picked up the “do not disturb” sign to put on our door, Abel got an evil glint in his eye.
“I could do something very bad,” he said. “Shall I?”
“What is it?”
He waved the second sign at me, the “please clean my room” one. Then he tiptoed across the hotel corridor and hang it on the door of the room opposite, where the inhabitants were, presumably, peacefully asleep.
In fairness, he took it off right away. But the naughtiness, the naughtiness! What would have happened to me if I’d so much as suggested it?
In the fine tradition of the spanking blogs everywhere, I’d like to take some suggestions on what punishment Abel deserves.
(No, he’s not going to accept it. Ah, well, we can dream.)
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Easy! He deserves to be made to clean the room, of course.
No, alas, he’s not going to accept it any more than my husband is going to accept it.
“Have your put in your expenses?” I ask.
“I am about to,” he says.
“But what would happen to me if I didn’t put in my expenses for months?” I ask.
“Well it wouldn’t be good,” he says sheepishly.
That was a conversation weeks ago, and he still hasn’t put in the expense report.
What to do? What to do?
I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now, and have come up with nothing at all.
So, give him a hug instead and he might buy you some of that chocolate that happens to be bloody good in those parts.
Hit him with that umbrella that is so so cool, and just perfectly made for hitting him with! I’ll help you
I think waking him up a couple of days in a row in the middle of the night, bursting in to hoover the floor, should cure him of his naughtiness! And, of course, he’d have no choice but to accept it. After all, the house does need to be cleaned, and what with the full-time task of looking after your husband during the day you’d have no choice but to clean at night. Right?
I think a combination of what candycane and Kate suggest… if he wants to avoid being woken up in the middle of the night when the vacuum cleaner goes on, he needs to have made sure the house is lovely and clean before he goes to bed, oh… and to have washed the dishes left after he cooks dinner too of course
For a crime of this magnitude, there is only one fitting punishment: Abel must be given sole responsibility for keeping the mould out of the coffee maker tray.
If that is what counts as naughtiness then I think Abel needs a little education. So as punishment he should have to do something really naughty - The Dangerous Book of Really Quite Naughty Things To Do by William Brown - should provide inspiration. Mere light-hearted dormitory pranks never merited a proper punishment. Four strokes over a pyjama-clad bottom perhaps, but nothing of any consequence.
And Rob; not claiming our expenses is how we chaps do our saving. And who can tell what your hubbie is saving for? Do you have a birthday coming up? I wouldn’t press too hard; just in case.
Do you have a maid’s outfit he could……No, no, that’s not happening.
How about you take custody of your least favourite implement for a month?
Have him read a Potter book - and I don’t mean Dennis, but the other one.
Oh my goodness!! Is there really a book of naughty things to do? For real?!
I should have put one of those ‘wink wink’ emoticons on that post. Sorry to disappoint Smudge. Actually, before typing this reply I double-checked on Amazon to make sure that I wasn’t going to be caught out by my own imagination. Apparently there are no books at all available there with the word naughty in the title. I sense a rather large gap in the market.
Wow! And there’s nobody like Abel and Haron to fill that gap! I can’t wait!
Simple - whenever Abel is naughty Haron should be well spanked.
I think it’s quite clear that since punishing Abel would not be effective, Haron gets a “get out of trouble free” card!
Mike: And here I was thinking that he didn’t do his expenses because he didn’t FEEL like doing his expenses. Thanks for the explanation.
As for there being no mention of ‘naughty’ in a title, I’m working on fixing that as we speak.
Well, I *was* made to eat some of Haron’s nettle salad at dinner the other night. Does that count?!
(Other than that, I like the suggestion from Brennus!)