Quite the most bizarre implement-shopping experience ever…
Some of you may know the fraught recent history of Cyprus – the conflicts leading to the effective separation of the (Turkish) north from the (Greek) south. Nicosia, the capital, has long been divided by the Green Line – the Cypriot equivalent of the Berlin Wall.
Progress is being made, however, and in April this year the barricades that cut across Ledra Street – the city’s main shopping thoroughfare – were removed, replaced by a border crossing. Cath and I took advantage of this to wander across to the northern half of the city, heading straight for the main sight, the Selimiye Mosque (founded in the 13th century as St Sophia’s Cathedral, where the Kings of Cyprus were crowned).
As we emerged, we spied a rather wonderful-looking antiques shop on the opposite side of the little square. Surely a treasure-trove such as this must have something with kink value?
Lo and behold, our instincts proved correct, for there in the glass cabinet were two wonderful items: an old, heavy, leather riding crop, together with a cane topped with a silver badge of the Cypriot police.
The girl in the shop was unsure of the prices, though, so made a call to check the prices. A long conversation ensued. She frowned, hung up, then turned to us. “He says, ‘One thousand euro for the two.'”
A thousand euro? Surely some mistake, some calculation error? Not at all, it turned out: she shook her head and explained that, “He really doesn’t want to sell them.”
Needless to say, the two items are still in the glass cabinet in the shop. If you’re in the area, and obscenely rich, you might want to go and explore. Cath and I, meanwhile, speculated as to the conversation between the young woman in the shop and, presumably, her father on the end of the phone. “You may sell them when you marry,” he must have explained. “In the meantime, they’re staying exactly where they are in case you misbehave.”
Why does he have them in the shop if he doesn’t want to sell them, then? Silly man. Is it a bit like the shop off Bagpuss? You know, “This is a very special shop, because it doesn’t sell anything…” Then it’s not a shop, is it, idiot!
Yep, it was seriously weird. And such a shame, too. Abel was all excited for a few minutes at the thought of expanding his ridiculously large collection of implements. They were very, very cool though – especially the Cypriot police stick, I thought, though I think Abel preferred the crop. But they were *so* overpriced that the owner seriously must have had a motive for not wanting to sell them 😉
I’m grateful to that nice man for not letting Abel get his hands on more dangerous weaponry.
Thanks, nice man.
Maybe Abel *was* his motive for not wanting to sell… they’d been tipped off that if a strange Englishman came in getting all excited about canes and crops, they were not to sell at any price, in order to protect the innocent. Or possibly not so innocent 😉
Poor Abel will spend his life wandering the world, seeking an aware shop that will sell implements to him, but to no avail! They have all been warned.
Puella – no! That’s just too depressing a thought!
Eliane – I was with Cath. Innocent?!
Haron – don’t worry: when you get up, there are some nice Cypriot olive switches waiting for you instead.
Cath – I *did* prefer the crop in terms of potential use: it was especially dense and would have been very effective. But the police stick would have been so hot for scenes!
Smudge: presumably they’re there to be used, not sold?! Perhaps the locals can rent them rather than borrow them – there’s a succession of naughty young women arriving to hold over 50 Turkish Lira and take them home for a couple of hours?