A few posts ago I wrote about “Indiscretions of Lady Susan” by Lady Susan Townley, which had beckoned to me with its promising title. The lady’s family history was very interesting indeed, but the nicest part of the book came when she moved on to writing about her own childhood:
As I have said, we were nine children, and we fell naturally into 3 groups. There were “the boys”, who went to school and had a holiday tutor; “the girls”, my three elder sisters, who had a schoolroom to themselves and a German governess, and “the babies”, of whom I was the eldest, who had a lower schoolroom and a French governess.
We were certainly the naughtiest children I have met in fact or fiction…
I remember that on one occasion the tutor, out of temper with my youngest brother, took him into a secluded part of the garden, and tying him to a tree, laid into him with a riding-whip… The two elder boys, helpless witnesses of this act of barbarity, secretly vowed vengeance. On the following day they invited the tutor to go for a row on the Avon…
When in the middle of the river, they threw the oars overboard and quietly took the cork out of the bottom of the boat which, of course, began to fill. Then they waved a cheerful “so long” to the terrified man, and jumping into the water swam ashore, leaving him to what he supposed was a watery end. The air-compartments, however, kept the boat afloat, and when they considered he had been sufficiently punished, they brought him in.
For some reason but known to himself, he never reported them.
Oh, but in my fantasies he did.
Or better yet, Father was watching from the window, unnoticed by any of the participants. Midway through the adventure, he rang for the parlour maid.
“Bring me my cane,” he said. “And as soon as my sons come back, kindly ask them to join me in the library.”
As each of the boys bent over the library steps for six of the best, they relected tearfully that at least they’d had their revenge.
And they brought him back to shore? Huh. I think I’d have held him under.