Today is the feast day of St. Agatha. I know that you’re all expert in the lives of the saints, but thought you might appreciate a brief reminder before you fall to your knees in prayer:
A beautiful Christian girl named Agatha lived in Sicily in the third century. The governor heard of Agatha’s beauty and brought her to his palace. He wanted to make her commit sins against purity, but she was brave and would not give in…
“Sins against purity”. What a nice euphemism!
The governor tried sending Agatha to the house of a wicked woman. Perhaps the girl would change for the worse. But Agatha had great trust in God and prayed all the time. She kept herself pure. She would not listen to the evil suggestions of the woman and her daughters.
After a month, she was brought back to the governor. He tried again to win her….
When he realized that she would not sin, the governor became angry. He had Agatha whipped …
…and then sent to prison. She was later martyred at Catania, Sicily, in the year 250.
The moral of the story? “Be obedient, or be whipped”, perhaps? (Let’s just forget the martyring bit!)
Surely the moral of the story is that some people will find reasons to have good girls whipped no matter what?
ROFL! ‘Sins against purity’?? I’m sure *you’d* never make a girl commit sins against purity, would you, Abel? That would be an absolutely awful thing to do… Terrible, terrible behaviour…
Smudge: Abel can’t *make* you commit sins against purity. That’s what the story of Agatha tells you. If you do not sin, it’s ok, you can still be whipped…
I’m with Indy, I think she has fully understood what dear Saint Agatha was trying to tell us.
Sounds like Indy and Eliane have seen through your ploys, Abel…!
A-ha! Don’t worry, Cath, I have a plan! Don’t sin, and remain all saintly, and you get to be whipped. And then sin after, instead of going to jail, in order to help, um, prove how bad for you sinning is. I mean, it would totally be a hardship and everything. But that’s okay. That would make you even *more* saintly than being martyred. Because once you’re dead, you’re dead, right? But you don’t get much more saintly that sacrificing yourself to sin (and whipping), which is obviously totally awful, so as the masses don’t have to.
That’s totally selfless, that is. And it’s really good to be selfless, yep yep yep.
But what if the afterlife is full of whippings? Maybe that’s how it works. Hell comprises doms and tops being thrashed by subs and bottoms. Heaven is the opposite.
I’m also pondering a new irregular verb, along the religious theme:
“I’m friendly with the choirboys
You’re committing a mortal sin
He or she will be damned to the flames of hell fire.”
(Not me personally, you understand!)