Two fellow bloggers have written posts that look at the same issue from opposite points of view, and, like Indecisive Dave from Fast Show I found myself agreeing with both of them. The issue is being dropped into trouble by your friends.
There’s something wrong about telling tales. I hardly ever do it, unless I am totally sure that the other person wants, either secretly or openly, to drop them in it. But I would never take private business into the Dom’s Domain. It’s just wrong – underhand, sneaky, and not playing the game.
Most of the time I’m a nice girl. A good friend, empathetic and sympathetic. But sometimes I like to stir it up and get other people into trouble. Especially when I’m not there. Getting a comrade into trouble is almost like playing vicariously. And the brat in me loves it!
On the one hand, I feel for Jessica: suddenly getting spanked for something that you thought was a private moment with friends has to be unpleasant, possibly a safeword-compelling moment for me. The point of girlfriends and bratboy-friends is that you let your hair down around them, as a grown-up, even if you don’t behave like one. It’s your private space, and it can be jarring if the scene-space then expands to swallow it up.
On the other hand, it can be quite nice to get a spanking without having to work hard to attract one – like a gift from your friend. Being quite shy, I’ve been known to dispatch Abel to guys to impart the high-school-worthy message of “My wife fancies you” (or “wants to be spanked by you”, anyway). When friends take care of this for you, it seems thoughtful, helpful and generally fun.
I suppose, my reaction to being dropped into trouble for behaviour the top hadn’t personally witnessed would hugely depend on the tone the spanking would then take. If they have the sense to approach it lightly and playfully, I’d enjoy it. If they try to make a Serious Discipline Session out of it, I’d probably be resentful and unresponsive. Poor tops; so much depends on them.
hmmm I think it depends on both the person and the situation. Stirring while knowing the other person won’t mind or can see the funny side or even welcome it, is one thing. But stirring when the other person wouldn’t see the funny side or think it was interfering is another. Like everything in this scene you must tread carefully.
I love Indecisive Dave!
But I’m not indecisive about this. I haaaaaate surprises in my spankings. I’ve been ambushed a time or two, and even when it was something I really deserved to be thrashed for, I couldn’t get my head right at all. It’s horrible, getting slaughtered when you never expected it or saw it coming. Yuck. But, on the other hand,
I think Haron’s right–it depends on what kind of a session it produces. If it was a funny “ah ha, gotcha!” playful one, then maybe I could enjoy the randomness.
I love starting a debate. Like last night 😉
Seriously though, i think it’s ok if you know that the other person wants you to do it in some way. But not if they don;t. One if playful, the other, bitchy.
And I agree, it’s a hard one for the Dom to get right!
I think there is HUGE difference between those two examples. One is fun the other not.
If it’s playful and all three parts have laugh about it then it’s good for everyone. If it gets too much into real-stuff then it sucks for me always.