I was right to worry about the implements Abel had bought on his trip away. We got to test them out and… ouch.

The wooden spoon has a remarkably long handle, which makes it more of a ceremonial implement than your normal rapid-fire spoon. It’s almost a paddle. And it hurts like the blazes.

What really made me howl, though, is the new olivewood brush. It’s tiny, probably smaller than the palm of my hand, and looks deceptively benign. I wasn’t too worried about it – and what a mistake! The first stroke made my eyes water, and the second (and all the subsequent ones) had me howling. This being a test spanking, Abel probably only smacked me a dozen times, but I was as sore and wrung out as if I’d had a lengthy punishment.

“Wow, your bottom is so red,” Abel marvelled when he let me up. He sounded very surprised.

Yeah… my bottom had kept colliding with wooden household items.