I arrived at Orly airport rather early* for my flight last week – and there’s only so much time one can kill wandering bookstores when one doesn’t read the language fluently, luxury food shops when one’s not hungry, and perfume stores when one only has hand luggage so can’t buy their products.
Over a (terrible) cappuccino, I was given to picture girls arriving early at the Punishment Centre for their whippings. The letters they’d have received from the court authorities would have been clear on the logistics. Something like the following:
You should arrive no later than 10:00 to complete the necessary paperwork in good time. Your caning, as ordered by the magistrate, is scheduled to take place at some point between 10:30 and 11:30, and will last no more than 15 minutes in total. You should be free to leave no later than 12:00.
And what of girls who arrived late? They’d be made to wait for the next available slot in the schedule – possibly for several hours. And the letter would be clear on the further consequences:
Should you miss your appointment, an additional ten (10) strokes of the cane will be added to your sentence.
Not, I hasten to add, that flying with Air France is in any way comparable to a punishment. Oh no…
* Writes he, anticipating Cath’s derision for my paranoia about being late: the taxi took half the time it usually does, OK?
The last time I flew Air France, they cancelled my flight and I had to divert via an airport 600 miles south to get a BA flight home. I certainly know which I’d have out of a punishment caning and a sevrn hour delay caused by Air France, and that’s taking into acvount how much I hate the cane!
A punishment center? Once inside, I might never leave.
@Eliane – it’d make for an interesting new option to Expedia’s booking engine… “Reserve now… Provide more details… Reject the flight and be caned instead.”
@Judy – ROFL!
So you were, like, six hours early instead of the usual five? 😉